Tuesday, January 30, 2007

How About Some Oldies?

My students this year are an interesting lot. For some reason,
they seem to think I'm old. I don't know how this came about.
My students in past years thought I was happenin'. They hung
onto every word of my boring stories. They liked me, by cracky!
They liked me. Which is not necessarily a recipe for teacher
success, but it doesn't hurt.

Not that the current crop of DoNots doesn't like me. They
tolerate me. They humor me. But the don't worship at my
altar like those DoNots Past. Perhaps it is because in the
past, I had the same kids year after year. You become
attached, or immune, or contemptuous, or whatever familiarity
is breeding in this day and age. And you grow older together.

This year's group is a batch that I haven't had before. We're
getting to know us...getting to know all about us. Learning
exactly...what's our cup of tea. One of these days we might
just burst into song. Anyhoo...these current students do not
hang onto my every word. They are too busy thinking of
what they want to say next. Like I want to listen to them!
Great Googley Moogley! How did things go so wrong?

They continue on the OLD theme. Just today, I started the
morning with, "Remember that really old movie? I can't think
of the name of it, but my mom watches it all the time. It's
about this guy who likes another girl, and his girlfriend kills
herself, but he pushes her down the stairs anyway, and she
won't leave, she hangs around." I had never heard of any
movie like this, but I took a stab at it. "You mean 'Death
Becomes Her'?" "YEAH! That's it!" I have never seen this
movie. Once I saw a commercial for it, back when it was
in theatrical release, which I suppose makes me very old
indeed. I only thought of it because my dad used to say,
"You know that movie...'She Looks Good Dead'?" And
he meant that movie. Yeah. I can be hired as a partner
for game shows. I've got the knack.

Later in the day, as I was ignoring my students, some of
whom were called out of class to order yearbooks because
that's as important as preparing for the MAP, I was entering
grades in the computer when I heard: "When was World War I?"
I stated over my shoulder, "That would be around 1917."
They muttered happily something about being glad that I
could remember it. Surely they didn't believe I was alive back
then...d'ya think?

And to finish the day, one student called another over to read
the side of my desk in Lower Basementia. "Hey! I know who
that is! That's my uncle. Who wrote this about him? Do you
know how OLD he is? How long have you been teaching
here, anyway?" As if. Let me go on. AS IF...I would let kids
write on my desk. AS IF...I have been here as long as the
furniture. AS IF...I had that uncle for a student.

Some mornings it doesn't pay to take your teeth out of that
glass of water on the nightstand.

7 comments:

deadpanann said...

Some mornings it doesn't pay to take your teeth out of that
glass of water on the nightstand.


Amen sister. I had such a day too.

LanternLight said...

"When was World War I?"
I stated over my shoulder, "That would be around 1917."


Only if you arrived late.
1914 for the rest of the world.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Miss Ann,
At least I didn't have to entertain an ex-con trying to lay some pipe. ;)

Lantern,
Have I ever mentioned that History is my worst subject? Oh, I don't mind showing my ignorance...the real pain comes from losing points in Trivia.

And technically, the students didn't ask me when WWI STARTED. Only when it WAS. Since it was still going on in 1917, I will continue to classify myself as a genius. A genius with narcissistic personality disorder.

They had a list of dates and a list of events that they had to match. I wonder what REALLY occurred in 1917?

Cazzie!!! said...

LOl thats a crack up about the kids thinking you are ancient...take em to the museum and show em ancient..and tell em stories of when you used to fight off t rexs and shit..that'll throw em , PMSL.

Stewed Hamm said...

History just isn't your thing, HM. I mean, seriously, you still think the Japanese had something to do with Pearl Harbor.

MrsCoach2U said...

We went to play a basketball game and Mr.Coach and I's stomping grounds and one of the players said "Coach listen, they are playing really old school music". Mr.Coach stopped, walked over to the CD player and said "I wondered where I left that CD". Yep, it was his from his senior year there and they called it vintage. He about croaked. Him....vintage....never!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Cazzie,
I'm afraid some of them would really believe it.

Stewingformisinformation,
Of course I don't...WAIT A MINUTE! You're trying to trick me! It won't work. I been bamboozled by the best: 9th grade girls.

Mrs.,
At least nobody has called him ma'am.