Cat Tales

I know a couple of you have seen Art and Jennifer on KSDK's
'Today in St. Louis'. Colleen and Linda, to be specific. Mabel
if something is wrong with Channel 2 and she can't watch
Kevin and Randi. But for those of you who don't start your
day with them, let me bring a little joy into your lives.

Every morning around 6:25 they have 'Sammie's Stars', which
is a short segment with pictures of pets that people send in.
This is funny enough, because Art doesn't really seem to buy
into the whole pet thing like Jennifer, and sometimes gets to
chuckling, which sets her off, too. After 'Sammie's Stars', they
have the Humane Society in the studio, with a pet that can be
adopted.

Usually, Jennifer holds the puppies, and once or twice Art
held one. The bigger dogs, they let the Humane Society
people hold on a leash. Yesterday morning, the pet was
a cat, held by a Humane Society lady. I figured, "Well...
Jennifer must be a dog person, and doesn't want to hold
a cat. Or maybe cats shed too much." The camera closed
in on "Thomas", a big orange-striped tabby, while off camera
Jennifer announced how he could be adopted. Thomas
looked into the camera, then opened his gaping maw and
showed fangs the likes of which I have never seen. He
snapped at the cheek of his holder, who kind of went,
"Heh heh. Now that's not nice, you silly goose." Not in
so many words, because she wasn't miked, and you could
not hear her say anything. She squeezed that big ol' cat
a little tighter, and this time he took his front paws and
clawed at her neck. My boys were hooting at the screen.
"Whoa! Didja SEE that?" I told them, "I have a feeling
Thomas is not going to find a home."

And speaking of cats...last night HH went over to the barn
to fiddle with his head. It's some part on his Mercedes that
he destroyed when he drove it too far after it overheated.
Both the big dogs went with him, as usual. He heard them
behind the barn, barking their fool heads off. He went out
back and saw our white cat, Snuggles, sitting on something
black, and growling, hissing, and spitting at the dogs.

HH tried to see what she was sitting on. She's a long-haired,
mostly white, calico cat that does not get along with our other
pets. She would never win Miss Congeniality in any type of
contest. HH was puzzled, because her usual reaction is to
hiss and run away, while the others take that to mean: chase
me like you're going to kill me. If cornered, she will scratch
up a nose or two, but mostly she runs up a tree or under the
house.

HH calmed the dogs down and went back in the barn. A few
minutes later, he heard them again. He said, "I figured she'd
caught herself a snake or a mole, and didn't want to give it up
to the dogs." He took a flashlight and a broom handle out back.
He shined the light on Snuggles, and stomped his foot at her.
She growled at him and wouldn't move. He poked the handle
under her front legs and tried to lift her off the black thing. She
growled and hissed at the broom handle, but refused to move.
HH poked the broom handle under her back legs. Still, she
refused to get off the black thing, but as he raised her up, he
saw that it was her tail. HH put the stuff back in the barn and
brought the dogs to the house.

There on the front porch sat Snuggles. With her white tail.

According to HH:
"THAT WAS NOT SNUGGLES AT THE BARN! It was a
stray cat that I'd seen down at the mailboxes a few days ago.
Some other white cat, with a black tail. I'm lucky it didn't
bite my face off!"

Duh. HH tried to get a cat to leave its tail by poking it
with a broom handle.

Perhaps he needs new glasses.