Wednesday, January 31, 2007

All About Mii

I'm trying to be strong, but I'm not sure if my EGO can take
much more. Even fortified with its narcissistic-personality-
disorder confidence, Hillbilly Mom's EGO is slowly being
worn down until it's just an ego.

My son put a Mii of me into the Wii tonight. If you are not a
proud Wii owner, that is a little personal identity thingy that
you use when you play Wii Sports. They are not lifelike.
They are kinda like those 'man' and 'woman' symbols on
restroom doors. They have no hands, or many details. You
can choose the head and body shapes, hair color, eyebrows,
facial hair, glasses, skin tone, mouth, etc.

#1 son came into my office a few minutes ago.
"Mom, your birthday is the 15th, right?" birthday is February 11.
"No, it's not the 15th. That's your little brother's birthday.
Thanks for being such a loving son to me these past 12 years.
It's good to know how much I'm appreciated."
"Oh, it's the 14th!"
"The 12th!"
"Mom's birthday is the 11th!" (Now THAT'S the boy who will
haul my oxygen tank through the casino and clip my toenails
when I'm old. Older.)


A few minutes later he was back.
"I just came to see the shape of your face. I forgot what it
looked like."
"That's my boy."
"Well, I know it's egg-shaped, but I didn't remember if the
chin was pointy or rounded."
He turned my head around from the computer screen. Like
an owl might do of it's own volition.
"Now I see."

I am afraid to see what my Mii looks like. I at least hope he
made Mii a woman.

As a special treat for those whose inquiring minds want to know,
I will now update you on my nostril pimply thingy. It is not quite
so painful today. The swelling has gone down a tad. It's still there,
but it doesn't throb with each and every heartbeat, like it's alive.

I have been putting antibiotic ointment up in there, but I don't
know how well it has been working. The directions actually say
For External Use Only, so I feel guilty. The inner lining of the
nostril is not exactly external. What if I am overdosing on that
stuff? It also says Apply 3-4 Times Per Day. I jam that jelly-
like healing junk up in there all the live-long day.

Which of course reminds me of a Seinfeld episode, because
doesn't everything in my life coordinate with a Seinfeld episode?
Yes, by cracky, it does! At my desk in Lower Basementia
this afternoon, I applied some Triple Antibiotic Ointment to
my inflamed mucous membrane. It's OK. There were no kids
present. It was my plan time. My pimple exploratory period.
I scooped a gob of bacteria-fighting jelly onto my finger, and
stuffed it up in there good, coating all around the front edge
where the pain is most severe. For a moment, I forgot that
I have a basement classroom. With two windows that face
another building. And only one of them has been covered
with a hunk from the big roll of black paper. Hey! Two
different administrators have said they were getting me
window shades. I'm not holding my breath.

Anyhoo...I hoped that nobody had seen me with my finger
up my nostril. They might think I was picking my nose, when
actually I was only picking AT my nose. There's a subtle
difference. And of course, this episode in the sitcom of my
life is but a cheap rip-off of Seinfeld's 'The Pick'. You know,
where Jerry is sitting in his car at a stoplight, and the side of
his nose itches, so he reaches up to scratch it, but looks out
the window and sees his girlfriend in the next car, who is
horrified, because from her angle it looks like Jerry has his
whole finger up his nose? That one.

Hillbilly Mom. Plagiarizing life one Seinfeld episode at a time.


Chickadee said...

LOL! I'll bet some DoNot was watching from the bushes and your picture is posted somewhere on the internet of you "picking" your nose. ;)

Did you look at your Mii yet?

Hillbilly Mom said...

EEEEEE! Say it isn't so!

My Mii really does look like me. Me on a diet, with no hands. He did a good job on the face and hair and eyebrows. Even if he didn't remember what I looked like.