Saturday, January 27, 2007

The Even Steven Episode

Today again proved my Seinfeldian connection to be correct.
We'll call this the Even Steven episode of the sitcom of my life.

On Seinfeld, it is when Jerry comes out Even Steven in all he
does. He loses a comedy gig...don't worry. Another club called
and booked him for the same dates. To prove to Elaine that he
was Even Steven, Jerry tossed a twenty-dollar bill out of the
window of his apartment. He put on a jacket to go out--and
found twenty dollars in the pocket. His girlfriend broke up
with him and he told her, "That's OK. I'll get another girlfriend."

Here's how Even Steven works, Hillbilly Mom style. I went to
mail in my entry for the Design-a-Lottery-Ticket Contest. I
would link the lottery site, but then, that may give me too much
competition when you all rushed to mail in your entries by
Feb. 2. Anyhoo...I stopped to put some gas in the Large SUV,
and bought my #2 son a donut, and $7 worth of scratch-off
tickets, and $3 worth of PowerBall tickets. Nope. I didn't
win the $254 million on Wednesday, but that store ain't too
far from these parts. My gas and necessities resulted in
change back of some bills and 72 cents. I dumped the
coins in my pocket instead of into the LSUV change tray.

On the way to Save-A-Lot, the boy scratched the tickets and
uncovered a $10 winner. Aha! Even Steven on the lottery.

We loaded up the cart with some staples and kid delicacies,
and got in line to pay. The bill was $43.72. Aha! Even Steven
on the coinage.

The next stop was, of course, Sonic, because I needed my
Cherry Diet Coke fix for the day. I decided to just pull in
and eat lunch there, because it was already 2:02, and neither
I nor my young'un had eaten since breakfast. The older boy
was with HH in a bowling tournament, so we just let lunch
slide today. As I sat there eating a bacon cheeseburger, and
#2 stabbed at his Cheese Tots with a plastic fork, it hit me.
Where was that cheese pizza I bought for the kids' supper?
I did not remember carrying it out to the car with the two
boxes from Save-A-Lot. I told the boy to crawl over the
third seat and see if it was in the back. "No. You left it on
the counter when you put the stuff in boxes."

Great. Not only was I without a quick supper before the
guys were going to see Night at the Museum, but I was
out $3.50 for a Red Baron Four-Cheese Pizza. Plus tax!
That could buy some lottery tickets, by cracky!

I stopped back at Save-A-Lot on the way home. The pizza
was not on the counter. I looked for the young dark-haired
girl who rang me up, but she was nowhere to be seen. The
worker who always speaks to me was still hosing out the
frozen vegetable bin. There was another young girl working
the checkout. Those 110-year-old checkers must have
bought the farm. I haven't seen them in a couple of weeks.

I went to the SALE frozen bin and picked up another Red
Baron pizza. I took it to the checkout. I told the girl, "I left
my last one on the counter about a half-hour ago." She said,
"Oh, we found it and put it back. Did you buy it?" I showed
her my receipt. "Oh, just take it. You don't have to pay
anything." YEAH. That's what I'm talking about. Pizza lost,
pizza found. Even Steven.

Maybe I'll check out the casino tomorrow.


Chickadee said...

You seem to have the luck with those scratch-off tickets. One of these days you're really going to hit it big.

Yes, it was the day of the even steven for you. Did you go to the casino yet? ;)

Hillbilly Mom said...

I wish.

We slept too late to go on Sunday, but I just got an email with a FRIDAY NIGHT deal on a room. That never happens. We're discussing it.