Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Read All About It

I just had the most scathingly brilliant idea! Right after I
read the Diva's post yesterday. So I guess she is the one
with the scathingly brilliant idea. I am just the plagiarizer.
A little bit. Go check her out. There are many new things
afoot in her corner of Oklahoma. She tells it better, so I'll
let you read for yourselves. She's even got a writing
contest goin' on. That woman is too ambitious, methinks.
Thanks, Diva, for my inspiration. Feel free to steal the
favor any time. Assuming I can come up with my own idea
in your lifetime. Let's get right to it.

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Local Woman Held For Questioning

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom, a teacher at NoName School District,
was detained today by local authorities. After 90 minutes
of interrogation, it was determined that she really does
know what she's talking about. This was confirmed by
the other 5 detainees, between bites of candy and bouts
of horn tooting. The Committee to Evaluate the School
released Mrs. Hillbilly Mom and her cronies after they
provided insider knowledge concerning the day-to-day
activities of the educational institution.

Hardworking Dad Denounced By Offspring

The breadwinner of a Blogger Protection Program
family was disowned by his children today. They were
outraged when he brought home sweet & sour chicken
without the sweet & sour. When questioned, Mr. H.
Husband stated: "I guess I won't have any sweet &
sour sauce with my chicken." The patriarch blamed
the culinary omission on the English-as-a-nonexistent-
language workers at a restaurant near his mansion.
The last words he was heard to utter were: "I spent
the last of my cash budget money on that food."

Freak Accident Narrowly Avoided

Witnesses were shocked to see a black Ford truck exit
the Rhodes 101 at the corner of Main St. and Not-Main
St. this afternoon. With no regard for eastbound traffic,
the club cab pickup pulled in front of a white compact car,
across the left turn lane, and halfway into the westbound
lane before stopping. Apparently sensing the error of its
ways, the truck then backed up across the left turn lane,
eastbound lane, and back into the Rhodes 101 lot. Then
pulled right back out, but not as far, and backed up
again. A local, Mrs. Hillbilly Mom, was heard to exclaim
from her Large SUV, "What's that crazy idiot doing?"
Upon closer inspection as to the identity of the crazy
idiot, witnesses discovered that the truck was empty.
Mrs. Hillbilly Mom could not be reached for comment,
as it was nearly the end of half-price Happy Hour at
the nearby Sonic.

Educator Throws in the Pie

Longtime physics teacher Mabel O'Mabel did not hand
out Little Debbie Oatmeal Pies today in recognition of
Pi Day. Having relinquished her physics post to further
mathecate mathematically challenged students, Mabel
bequeathed the crown of Pi Maiden to her successor.
Who was out of town on business. Many a student was
heard to bemoan the sad fate of Pi Day, as their stomachs
rumbled in commiseration.

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Yes, it was an eventful day. There will be future editions
of the Hillbilly Mom Times as news warrants.

Thanks again to Redneck Diva for the idea. She ROCKS!

2 comments:

Redneck. Diva. said...

AWESOME Headlines, Hillbilly Mom! I love them!

Sorry it's taken me so long to get around to reading here around the Mansion. I do things in fits and starts these days, have you noticed? Methinks I'm spread too thin. (Woah. Me and thin in the same sentence? Not since high school....but I digress.)

Hillbilly Mom said...

Diva,
It only took me 6 months to write them, after seeing yours the first time. That's a loyal plagiarizer, I'd say. Good thing you did some recently to kick-start me.