The Crazies Are Among Us

Is it too early for spring fever? My DoNots have gone
absolutely crazy. And I'm just talking about today. Oh,
they do things to irritate me every day. That's their job.
For the most part, they're pretty well behaved. But today
was extraordinary. Would you like to hear more?
Try and stop me, by cracky.

First cat out of the bag (and wouldn't that be a fine way
to start the day, with a giant bag of cats tucked neatly
away in a squirming bag, to be let out one by one to
run squalling down the hall) a girl in my first hour showed
me a $5 bill some guy had given her. She didn't know
why. But that's not the weird part. A boy snatched it out
of her hand and ran into my room, taunting her with it.
Another student went in, and another. It looked like I
was not going to give out a tardy for the first time in
about a week.

I glanced into the room from my hall post, and saw a
student standing at my front window with the top and
bottom windows cranked open, yelling at somebody
in front of the school. Pardon me. This just does not
happen in Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's classroom! I shouted
his full name, and told him to close the windows, sit
down, and to never, ever even think of doing that
again. Which earned me a round of applause from
a teacher standing way up by the cafeteria. Ahem.
Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is not shy about keeping order
in her classroom. Approximately 5 seconds after the
tardy bell rang, another student asked to go to his locker
for his science book. I told him "For a tardy." Because
you can't linger about the hall for 4 minutes after
consuming your OH SO TASTY school breakfast, and
then think you will be permitted to waltz all the way back
down the hall to Mabel territory and get your stuff.
Though methinks the waltzing would be a nice addition
to the streaking, yowling felines being released from the
large economy size bag o' cats.

I had been looking forward to 2nd hour. I have a whole
class of freshmen. That's definitely not the reason I was
looking forward to it. There was an announcement
yesterday that all freshmen should report to the gym
2nd and 4th hour. That's just how it was worded. The
kids started coming to my class. Whoa, Nelly. Or not
Nelly, because I don't have any girls left. We have used
up two of them and they moved to other districts. I sent
a fine young man (really) to the office to see if they should
report to class first for roll. That is the normal procedure,
but it always says so in the announcements. He came
back and said, "Yes. We wait to be called out." So we
settled down for a long spring midmorning, foregoing the
assignment, because hey, they were being called out.
10 minutes passed. Then 15. I sent a different fine young
man (really) to the gym to see if they were ready. He
returned, saying, "The gym is full of us!" Good thing I
sent him. I'd already wasted 15 free minutes of my life.

That's when it started. As the others got up and went,
two remained seated.

Only the health classes are being tested. Not us.
It says right here: ALL freshmen report to the gym
2nd and 4th hour.
But we have health 4th hour. He told us just to go 4th.
That's not what the announcements say.
You'll see. We aren't supposed to go.
GO already!
We don't want to go. We're not supposed to. They'll
send us back. You'll see.
Then go and make them send you back.

Just then a classmember came to get the vocal one.
"They just called your name. Get in there." Heh, heh.
As he went out the door, I called, "I told you so."

In Lower Basementia, I began a lesson with the younger
fry on the addition and subtraction of time. Like converting
seconds to minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days, and
vice versa for subtraction. Hey. These are kids who say
24 - 18 = 14. So you can't overexplain things the first time.
Normally, I explain the concept while standing at the board.
I put up an example. I ask the class what I should do next.
They shout it out, and I write it down. Today, a back-row
dweller said, "Oh, I know that." He stood up, walked up
front, took a piece of chalk from the tray, rubbed out the
first part of my answer, and wrote in his answer. Which
was correct, but I wanted to leave the logical steps on the
board for reference. And, oh yes...who did he think he
was, getting up out of his seat and taking over my board
problem without permission? That has never happened
before. Great Googley Moogley! I must have really
motivated him, y'think? I don't.

During that same class, another boy kept trying to flirt with
one of the girls. Which is nothing too new, except he called
her 'Georgia Sunset', and held up a picture he'd been
carrying around. It was on notebook paper, with a sun and
many rays, and a smiley face in the middle. 'Georgia Sunset'
was written at the bottom. She was not impressed. Funny
thing, he was the only one who didn't do well on the
assignment. Go figure! We had time left over, so I asked
if anyone would like to go over it with him so he would
know what he did wrong. And this little girl who wouldn't
say, "OWW! You're on my FOOT" if you drove your car
over her foot, volunteered.

Something is in the water. Or the air. Or the Georgia sunset.
It just ain't right.