Thursday, March 15, 2007

No-Conference Day

It's been a long day. No parents showed up to conference
with me. I cleaned out a cabinet in preparation for my new
duties next year. OK, it was only one shelf of a cabinet.
But I still have four-and-a-half months. I think I can do it.

I almost gave away two Math books with reproducibles
to the LD teacher who is going to have to teach more
Math to her students, what with the new requirements.
Then I remembered, 'Oh, I am still teaching a Math class.
Bad idea.' So I copied them instead. Did she revere them,
treat them with the dignity they deserved, and puncture
their carcasses with a three-hole punch and place them
lovingly in a three-ring binder? Let me answer for you:
NO! She took them each to a common folder from the
Devil's Playground, the ten-for-a-dollar back-to-school-
special folders that she stocks up on each fall, shoved
them unceremoniously into a too-tight pocket, and
stashed them in her cabinet. Oh, the humanity!

I will leave you with a sorry sight I witnessed yesterday.
I shudder at the thought of it. But I would like to share
the horror. It was ninth-graders. Two boys who are
cousins. They do things like fart on each other, and
plan to ride bicycles 30 miles to visit one's girlfriend.
They hunt. They ride 4-wheelers. Just everday, normal
kids. They sit next to each other in class. One leaned
over to annoy the other, placing his head on his cousin's
shoulder. And the cousin leaned down and LICKED
HIS NOSE. The lickee hollered, started wiping the
side of his nose like a dog that's been stung by a bee,
and ran to the cabinet. "Mrs. Hillbilly Mom! Can I get
a baby-wipe out of here?" He scrubbed and scrubbed
at his nose. "Eewww! I can't believe you DID that to
me! That is gross!" And the licker replied. "It doesn't
bother me. I'm comfortable with my sexuality."

Heh, heh. I'm still having nightmares.


DeadpanAnn said...

A boy licked me on the nose once and it was very strange. He turned out to be a serial rapist.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Miss Ann,
Wow! That really makes me want to return to work Monday.

Redneck. Diva. said...

ROFL That story made me laugh myself into a coughing fit!

Last year I discovered that it realllllly annoyed Abby if I licked her face. Of course, I guess it would pretty much annoy anybody really... Anyway, she would start in being annoying and I'd just grab her and lick her cheek and then stand back to watch her beller and squawl. Good times, good times.

Yep, I'll gladly accept that nomination for Mother of the Year.

Hillbilly Mom said...

There's a joke there somewhere about "How do you hold your licker?" But I won't go there with a minor in the comment. We can't have you losing your title and giving back the MOTY crown!