Sunday, October 22, 2006

Karma Learns Hillbilly Mom A Lesson

Oh...that little Trivia thingy? It's over. I think we finished fourth, or
fifth. We were one point behind the team I wanted to beat. Perhaps
I should not have talked so much trash to them. We would have
beat them by two, and taken third place, if not for my error. Yes.
I choked. I bit the big one. I caved. I blew it. I won't go so far as
to say I 'screwed the pooch', because that is just OH SO WRONG,
even for hillbillies.

The last round. We were tied with that 'teacher team'. We had much
discussion amongst ourselves about the answers. A couple different
conversations went on at the same time. We were told to turn in our
answer sheets. I asked Mr S, "Are you sure that's the one?" He said
"Yes." I turned my attention to the first question. I did not like the
answer. I had thought of it at the very beginning, but did not think it
was right. I put down what I thought another player had said. "No,
no," they told me. "Put that other one." I disagreed. I had the pencil,
by cracky! I said, "Let me have this one." I changed the answer to
what I thought another player had said, but he hadn't. I just misread
his lips. I put what I wanted. IT WAS WRONG! And, we had some
answers out of order, two of which were right, but in the wrong place.
They were written in the wrong place by ME. Ohh...the agony of defeat!
I take full responsibility. Not that I am saying I feel guilty. Because
throughout the game, others also made some mistakes. And 26 wrongs
make me right, you see. Our final score was 74 out of 100.

Karma sure is a b***h!

And speaking of karma...Yesterday I stopped to buy my bi-weekly
Powerball ticket. I also threw in a $10 Lifetime Riches scratch-off,
because as some would say, Hillbilly Mom has a bad gambling
addiction. I got $3 worth of Powerball. For those of you who are
not Mabel, that means I spent a total of $13. Which was perhaps
unlucky on Trivia day, but I didn't even think about it, what with
drooling to get my scratch-off ticket. I paid with a $20 bill, and asked
for the change in ones, because I needed them for the kids' bowling
envelopes.

The clerk was the religious lady who always says, "God bless you."
I don't know what religion she is, but she dresses like a holy roller.
That is what HH says, not that I am being a hater to the Pentecosts
or anything, which is what HH says the holy rollers are. I don't know
much, except that she wears the denim skirt and sneaker kind of
ensemble. Anyhoo, I got home and scratched off my ticket...OK,
that's a lie, because I pulled off and scratched it before I drove
20 minutes home, because of my so-called gambling addiction.
I won $15 on my $10 ticket. WooHoo!
Pretty soon I can quit my job!

At home, I took the stack of ones out of my purse to put in my
pocket for the bowling alley. I am one of those OCD people who
have to have all money facing the same way, and stacked in order
of monetary value. There were 8 ones, not 7 !!! For all of you who
are not Mabel, 20 - 13 = 7 . NOT 8 !!! I was in a tizzy. That poor
holy roller woman who always tells me "God bless you" was going
to come up short when she rang out her drawer! She would have
to pay that extra dollar! Hillbilly Mom has worked in a convenience
store during her checkered past. She knows how they operate!

Since I had to go back to town anyway before bowling, because
I ran out of stamps to mail 5 bills I wanted to pay before gambling
away my Friday paycheck, I decided to stop by and give back
that dollar. Because that was the right thing to do. If it had been
Sonic, giving me the wrong change after making we wait in the
drive-thru for 20 minutes, or making sure at least one thing in
every order for the past year was wrong, I would have kept it.
But it was wrong to keep it from that little holy roller woman.

I took the dollar back. That little woman was not working. It
was two other women, one of whom I believe is the manager.
She said, "How can I help you?" And I said, "I was here earlier,
and got back a dollar too much in change. I was just bringing it
back." That manager-lady said, "Thank you. I've had a rough
week." For all I know, those two used it to buy themselves a
Powerball ticket. But MY conscience is crystal clear.

That powerball ticket that the holy roller woman sold me? It had
three of the winning numbers, right in a row. I won $7. I won back
2.333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
times my original Powerball investment. I'll be typing up my
resignation letter soon, what with all the money I'm making from
my gambling addiction.

Karma. Learn it. Live it. Love it.

4 comments:

Redneck Diva said...

Regarding the trivia faux pas - Doh!

Regarding the "holy roller" - Around these parts we call 'em "bun heads".

Regarding your ethics - I knew you were good people.

Regarding your Powerball win - When you retire, will you PLEASE come to Oklahoma to visit me? (Do I sound deseprate?)

Mish said...

Haha, that's exactly what my housemate did to my answers on our trivia sheet, which is why we came DEAD LAST. I have this thing, call me vain, where I don't like to appear as a complete idiot in front of others, so I was secretly shattered when we lost. Sigh.

So at least you kicked some ass, and there is NOTHING wrong with trash talking other players! In fact, I will try that next time.

LanternLight said...

OH SO PRETTY ONE, are you using another program to draft your blog post, as it's b*ggering the line feeds.

Here's an example, the quick
fox jumps over
the lazy hillbilly, who we all
suspect is using
Notepad, or an imaginary friend to
type her blog posts.
(Hi Mabel)

Hillbilly Mom said...

Diva,
It was just too much pressure for me.

The bun heads. How quaint.

Yep. I AM good people.

I will try to make it there, if Bigfoot hasn't taken over the state. We might be better off to meet in Branson, near those horses' asses at the Dixie Stampede. I think that would be fitting for the two of us. And imagine all the people who show up to take pictures of the horses' asses, getting us as an added bonus!


Mish,
Do you mean write them out of order, or CHANGE your answers? I only changed ONE answer, during the last round. I put all their other stuff on there, even though I didn't agree, and some of mine would have been right. That's why I had the guts to change ONE answer, and got it wrong!

Trash talking: It's all fun & games until someone loses by one point!


Lantern,
I only did it THAT ONE TIME! I swear. Anybody who knows me from back in the day...I really mean it THIS time!

I only used Wordpad once, when Blogger was doing its b*ggering. I don't know what has gone haywire.

Mabel will do many things to help me out, but typing is not one of them. And b*ggering is not either, which really should go without saying, but you know how some people jump to conclusions about NOT imaginary friends.