A Tisket, A Tasket, A Royal Blue Handbasket

The trip to the casino was fun. As much fun as I could stand, what
with HH driving down the middle of the road, picking things out of
his teeth and putting them in the trash bag (recycled Wal*Mart bag)
in the back seat, eating animal cookies by tilting his head back and
pouring them into his mouth, announcing important sights along the
way ("There's a little girl playing with a doll"), and farting until my
eyes watered, telling me, "Roll your window down."

In the casino, I discovered HH chatting with a cocktail waitress in
a cheerleader uniform. The waitress, not HH. He doesn't have a
cheerleader uniform. The Rams had a game today. I suppose that's
why, but it could be this big Football Madness promotion they have
going. The poor young thing had almost pulled up a chair at the
nickel slots, she was so enchanted with HH. He wasn't getting a
drink, so I don't know why her fascination. I could tell her stories
that would curl her hair.

Within 30 minutes of arriving, I was $35 ahead, thanks to my Hot
Pepper quarter slot. But no...I couldn't leave well enough alone, and
frittered that away on a nickel Wild Cherry machine. Then I popped
around, five-dollaring here, and five-dollaring there, until I lost that
much again. I really need to go back to the video poker for a while,
but I was in a hurry to lose all my money today. When I get an
overnight visit, I won't be so rushed.

I was also mad because HH and I both got Harrah's promotional
material in the mail. I got $7 free play coupons for each week in
October, and $5 off in any restaurant. I thought that was pretty
good. We haven't gotten that stuff for several years. Then I looked
at HH's stuff, which I assumed to be the same as mine. NO! That
dirty dog got $10 free play coupons for each week, and $10 off
in any restaurant! Harrah's is playing favorites! I told HH that is
because he loses more than me, and they really want his business.
HH disagreed.

We ate lunch and stopped by the promotions desk to scan our
cards to get free bags that MAY have included prizes. One in
five a winner, they said. It was only 12:00, and the line was moving.
HH said we should get in line. I told him it didn't start until 1:00.
"Well, THEY are doing it, " HH said. So we waited in line 10
minutes, until we saw them turn away a man. I'll give him credit,
he did walk down the line and tell us that only diamond card
members were being served. So HH and I went off to lose more
money. We're quite good at it. But not good enough to be have
diamond cards. We're the lowly gold card members.

On the way out, we scanned our cards. Again, the woman who
served me shoved the stuff at me, mumbled what to do with it,
and hollered, "Next!" Meanwhile, the woman serving HH called
him by name (duh, it's on his card) and asked, "Would you like
dark blue or royal blue on the bag, HH?" He took the dark blue.
Hmpf! MY server didn't offer me any color choice. She just
threw a white bag with royal blue trim at me. I suppose I'm
lucky my bag has a bottom in it. I can't figure out how HH gives
off this vibe, and people fall all over themselves helping him. And
me having such a cheerful personality and all. Those PEOPLE
PISS ME OFF! You'd think they know me or something. Go figure!
We shuffled over by some extra large trash bins to open our loot.
We had a thing to check our cards with, but they did not light up,
so we were not winners. But I got an envelope. An old lady said,
"Oh, you're a winner!" I opened it, and there was some kind of
plastic card thingy in it. HH was mumbling, "I didn't get one!"
Heehee! LOSER! In line, I had asked him if he wanted to go first,
or should I. He said I should go first. You snooze, you lose, HH!
A worker guy came by and said, "Congratulations, you're a
winner." "Of WHAT?" I asked. It was a gift card. A $5 gift card
through American Express. Oh, it SAYS it isn't a credit card,
but I bet if I use it, I get a bunch of offers in the mail. Anyhoo,
it's better than nothing. And I got a free bag. Teachers are all
about the free bags, you know. You can never have too many
free bags.

They are kind of like free handbaskets. And we all know we are
going to need them.