Tuesday, October 17, 2006

No Trivial Matter

I am all fired up about Saturday night. I am going to play Trivia at
school. It's a fundraiser. Each person pays $10. There are eight
people on a team, ten rounds of trivia. Can you spell N E R D ?
Yes, that is Hillbilly Mom, a big-ol' nerd who likes to think she's
smart.

We've played trivia for several years now, with no team the same
twice. The closest we've ever come to winning was fourth place.
We should have had third place, but someone cheated. No.
REALLY.

Each round, the team has one person record answers to the ten
questions on a paper that gets turned in. I was recording answers
that night. A woman kept walking behind me. That made me mad,
because people piss me off, and I hate anyone going behind my
chair, especially if they kick the legs of it. She was working for
whoever held the fundraiser, selling soda and stuff. After walking
behind me, she would walk over to the table where her husband
and some other relatives were playing. I am the suspicious sort
(OK, paranoid, if you must), and told a couple of people on my
team that I thought she was looking at our answers. One of them
said, "Put your arm over it. Just like in school, so the other kid
can't cheat off you." So I did.

It was the last round. We knew all but one answer. I put my arm
over the paper. That woman walked by, paused, and LIFTED UP
MY ARM! I said, "Hey, stop that!" She said, "I just wanted to
see what time it was." Never mind that there was a clock on the
wall right behind me. She dropped my arm. My watch clunked on
the table. She was a bit snotty, "Can't you see I'm not even playing?
I'm working. I'm not even on a team." Then she walked to her
husband's table, said something, and walked off. Her husband wrote,
turned in his score sheet, and WON THIRD PLACE. By one point.
We were in fourth, by one point. I was beside myself. Everyone
thought it was kind of funny. NOT ME! I was cheated out of THIRD
PLACE. The prize was something like $25. THEY KEPT IT!!!
Everyone always donates back the prize money at these things.
Not the McCheatersons!

I'm still bitter. They'd better not be playing Saturday night. I'm not
wearing a watch. I pity the fool who tries to lift my arm. There will
be a tussle that puts professional wrestling to shame.

Go ahead. Make my day.

8 comments:

Redneck Diva said...

Ooh that sounds like fun! The trivia, not the cheating or the pissing you off.

MamaKBear said...

Oh, that biotch was SO helping her husband's team cheat!!!

People piss me off too.

Cazzie!!! said...

My mum and I played trivia night every Thursday through Summer last year. There were a few good teams of young guys there too. Thing is, we caught onto them when they walked through to the loo same time as us, they used their internet on their cell phones to get answers...and they had print out in their pockets of World's major rivers and World leaders and stuff. Oh well, let em cheat, they will be loosers in life I guess..all that for free drinks at the pub too.

MrsCoach2U said...

You should have wrote down fake answers then changed them at the last minute! Your slipping.....

Mish said...

That woman was a super bitch. What if she broke your watch?? If anyone even touches my watch they are in trouble. Also I think it's pretty rude that she lifted your arm, even if it was just to get the answers; you don't just go and touch people that you don't know.

My housemate and I went to trivia at the pub a couple of weeks ago. We came last place because he didn't believe my answers were correct (they were).

I hope you kick ass this weekend!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Diva,
I loooooves me some trivia! Don't they have it in Okiehoma? You would love it, too. It's like crack for nerds. Almost as good as directing the band.

MamaKB,
See? I don't know why my teammates couldn't figure that out. I was writing every round, by cracky! Couldn't they be more observant?

Cazzie,
We are not allowed to leave the tables until 5 rounds are over and they give us pizza and cookies. The answers have to be handed in about 2 minutes after the last question of each round has been read. No cell phones allowed during the competition. I never thought of a cheat sheet. We never know the categories ahead of time.

Mrs.,
Now why didn't I think of that? We are rushed for time, but we could have had one person writing fake answers, and another writing the real answers.

Mish,
I wasn't really concerned about my $7 Wal*Mart watch. Now if it had been my fake diamond fake Rolex, I might have been even MORE pissed off. I agree about the touching. That is OH SO WRONG!

Don't you hate it when you are right, but nobody believes you? At least you get a good "I TOLD you so!" out of it.

Stewed Hamm said...

I wish I could be surprised that people would cheat at a trivia contest ostensibly for charity. (or whatever) Sadly, we all know that some people are completely without morals - ethical black holes, if you will.

What does surprise me is that nobody (else) called her on it. Like a room full of teachers can't spot someone cheating... Something's wrong there.

The upshot of it is that the lying bitch picked YOU to cheat from. She went to the smartest person in the room... so there's that bit of flattery. It's a tiny little moral victory, I guess.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Stewthemoralcompass,
You'd think it was all about THEM, huh?

We didn't think we were still on the clock. We had already let our hair down.

HEY! I never thought that she picked ME. Now I've really got the big head.