Wednesday, October 25, 2006

HM Is Not A Good Multi-Tasker

The Halloween Dance was not very exciting this year. No kids tried
to rub their butts on other kids personal parts while dancing. Very
few of them danced. My #1 son would not even dance with his
girlfriend. Oh, he said he would, but he didn't. I told him to just stand
there and let her dance, but he wouldn't. She'll get over it, I suppose.
At least he stood around with her and didn't ignore her.

One of the faculty told my son, the slice of pepperoni pizza, to go up
to the principal and say, "You want a PIECE of ME?" He didn't want
to, because he thinks the principal doesn't like him. A friend drug him
over and said it for him. The principal looked at him and said, "No."
"And not in a joking way, either, Mom," was what my boy reported.
I felt kind of sorry for him. He's used to adults liking him.

I am not having a good day. We were trapped in our classrooms for
over two hours to accomodate a visit from the drug dog. Don't get
me wrong--I welcome a visit from the drug dog. But when you are
expected at another building, and can't notify them, it causes a bit
of stress. I pushed the panic button to ask office staff to call them
for me, which seemed as good a plan as any.

While the K-9 officer was doing his thing, a car pulled off the road
across from my room. It was about 30-40 yards away. The kids
were going batpoop about it.

Hey! That guy keeps looking at us!
Maybe he wants a date. (There were all boys except for 1 girl in class)
Every time we look at him, he rolls up his window. (Tinted windows)
He's talking on his cell phone.
He better not be calling the paper about us.
Check everyone's head for a red light. He might have a scope.
We don't feel safe. Call the office and tell them he's there.
I don't think we're the only ones to see him. There are 9 other
classrooms on this side of the building. As well as the office.What
are they going to do? Tell him to leave? He's on a public road. They
aren't going to send anybody over there while we're on lockdown.
There's a cop right here. HE can go.
I think we're fine.
Can I get down on the floor?
Can I go look out the door to see the dog?
No. The superintendent closed the door. For a reason.
Are we going to have 3rd hour?
Doesn't look like it.
That's not fair! I have PE!
Those people in Science will get extra time on their tests!
That's not fair!
Where does that K-9 ride in the car?
In the back seat.
Uh uh. In the front seat. He's just like an officer.
I wish I had a K-9.
You DO, stupid. You have three of them.
What do you mean?
ALL dogs are canines. It's their name.
What if someone planted something in your locker? How can
you prove it's not yours?
Well, they call you into the office. If that dog doesn't smell in
on YOU, then I guess you're off the hook.
Are we going to get lunch?
I'm sure you'll get lunch.
We better!
Are they letting that dog in the cars?
No, stupid. They just sniff the cars.
Hey, Mrs. Hillbilly Mom, that dog is going to sniff your car!
He's already been there. He's out front. I don't mind him sniffing.
What if he scratched your car? Would you be mad?
Hey, what if he scratched some guy's car, and the guy said, "Now
I'll have to sell a lot more drugs to get a new paint job for my car"?
Yeah. That would be funny.
Why do people bring their drugs to school? That's stupid! Why don't
they just leave them at home? Not that I think it's OK to do drugs.
It's not. I would never do drugs.
I guess they want to show off, or sell them. Why else bring them to

Are you as tired as I was? I even read a book to them most of the time.
That was just about 5 minutes worth.

When I finally got to the other building, I found out we're supposed
to fill out a new form on each student by tomorrow. Except nobody
had given me any forms. I asked the office. They didn't know. They
would check on it. I sent a student an hour later. OK, they will run
some copies for me.

We had an assembly the last hour and a half. Let's not even go there.
I had to hurry up and leave right after school, because I was blocking
in another traveler, because there were no parking places when I
rushed over there after the lock-down ordeal. I then proceeded to
buy some gas, pick up some medicine, run in Save-A-Lot for some
necessities such as bananas, milk, spaghetti sauce, parmesan cheese,
cereal, donuts, hamburger buns, bowling league candy for the party
Saturday, and some baby wipes for cleaning up after giant babies.
OK, so a few things you might not see as necessities, but my
8-year-old did. He also became best friends with two checkers.

When we got home, I had to carry in everything by myself, because
the big kid is the Devil's Handmaiden and refuses to help unless there's
something in it for HIM (besides a roof over his head, food, clean
clothes, and a daily stand-up show from his mama). The little guy
isn't so good at carrying stuff because he's shrimpy.

In the midst of frying hamburgers, washing the dishes, signing the
planner, cleaning out the lunch bag that #2 son forgot so we had
to drive to his school to pick it up before starting home, throwing in
a load of laundry, and slicing pickles...I found out that I am not such
a very good multi-tasker when a half-done burger jumped over the
side of the pan onto the floor. My #2 boy ran to help clean it up.
Thank the Gummi Mary we had just bought those baby wipes!

#1 threw the remains to the dog and tried to tell me he really wasn't
hungry, and that he could go without. Of course I know that an
11-year-old would eat the car seats if they just had a little pepper
and ranch dressing poured over them, so I insisted he eat the last
burger while I made a salad. I could tell he felt guilty for not carrying
in any groceries.

Man. I really wanted that burger.


MrsCoach2U said...

My kid wouldn't have felt bad for eating the last burger. He's done it before and I'm sure he'll do it again. He even told me once if my butt wasn't in a seat, my face didn't get to eat. Wonder where he's heard that?

Hillbilly Mom said...

I like that saying. My kids sit on kitchen stools around the cutting block when they eat. And by "sit", I mean put their feet on the seat and squat like hobos eating out of a tin can. Not that I feed them out of a tin can...cans are made of steel these days, you know.