Monday, September 11, 2006

To Mabel, In Explanation

This morning we had our annual 9-11 tribute in front of the school.
Veterans came, we recited the Pledge of Allegiance, the choir sang.
It was a nice little ceremony. I saw my buddy Mabel for the first
time in a long time. And school's almost over already, you know!

Mabel asked me to save her a seat at the faculty meeting after
school. Au contraire, Mabel. My presence has been requested
across town at the other faculty meeting. Mabel did not want to
believe it. So I have a little poem for her:

Please excuse me, faithful Mabel,
Sorry that I wasn't able
To procure a library table
For the two of us, to enable
A gossip session worthy of cable.

Yes. We two are quite amusing. We deserve our own comedy
show. Unfortunately, we are the only two people who think so.

I suppose Mabel realized the truth when there was no seat in
the library awaiting her after bus duty. Poor Mabel. This is the
least we have been able to communicate in the last 9 years.
Yes, Mabel, we're getting old. We're not spring chickens any
more. We're just chickens. Or in my case, a big chicken with
a pink flamingo head. Given to me by Mabel.

I don't know about your meeting, Mabel, but ours was over by
4:05. That's a new record. And the person supposed to be selling
tickets to the game sat right next to me. I guess it was self-serve
night at the admission gate. I don't know anybody else who could
have taken over. Tomorrow it is my turn as the gatekeeper. I will
take some papers to grade. I hate down time.

Now I must go make up a quiz for my HS math class. I promised
them one, you see...and Hillbilly Mom is not one to break promises
to her students.

Disclaimer: contrary to popular opinion, Mabel is not now, and
never has been, a figment of my imagination. She is a real live
breathing human being. She is not my alter ego, a la Fight Club,
or Secret Window. Oops! Sorry for the spoiler if you haven't
seen those movies. I can write what I want about Mabel, because
she does not have a blog, and will not leave a comment. She can
only chastise me privately through email, which I can choose not
to open. Oh, sure, she can send her students to sing "Happy Pi
Day" to me on March 14, but that's a long way off, and they can't
bring those delicious Little Debbie Oatmeal Pies this year, because
of that healthy schools act or some such thing that has taken away
our snack bar and all soda from grades K-8.

See what teaching does to you? It makes you act like the kids.


LanternLight said...

And have imaginary friends!


Does this mean ""Mabel"" and you won't be doing the graduation thing this year?

Hillbilly Mom said...

Mabel IS NOT IMAGINARY! Please excuse my shouting. That is a rumor started by the evil Rebecca, perhaps in a time of war, during the Hillmomba/Beclakia conflict.

Mabel and I have a standing date for graduation. She trades graduation robes with me, you know. She is selfless, that Mabel. And I am selfish. We balance each other.

Redneck Diva said...

I had an imaginary friend when I was 2 and 3. His name was Bodey. He had some friends - Roy and Christina - but they didn't come around as much as ol' Bodey did. I miss him sometimes. Tell Mabel to say hi to him the next she runs into him at Imagin*Mart, k?

And if it's any consolation - they say imaginary friends are a sign of intelligence. In children.

Cazzie!!! said...

But, if you did not act like the kids you would not be on top of what the kids are doing in class..therefore you, as the teacher, have the advantage.
Does this all mean that we as parents have an advantage of knowing what the thoughts are inside our kids' heads?
Does it mean they will try all sorts of crazy shit when they get to teenagedom?
I like your friend Mabel..I like the name very much..hello Mabel..if you are reading :)

Cazzie!!! said...

HBM, could you please contact me on my email address when you have time? I have some things to ask you related to education..thanks, Cazzie :)

LanternLight said...

Mabel and I have a standing date for graduation. She trades graduation robes with me, you know.

Yes, I read that somewhere :-)

Hillbilly Mom said...

Mabel is NOT imaginary!!! Can't you hear me stomping my foot with indignation?

Cazzie x 2,
I'm lovin' the MATH TEACHER title, so I gotta use some multiplication. Thank you for acknowledging Mabel. I'm not sure if she reads the comments. I'd better be more careful what I say about her. Just kidding, Mabel. (Just in case.)

I'll get around to the email, at least by the weekend.

I can't imagine where. We are fully clothed underneath the robes. (Just so the StewedHamminator doesn't get any wacky ideas.)