Sunday, September 17, 2006

HM Sucks at LIFE

People are trying to piss me off today. And it is only 1:00. Staying
home does not solve the problem, as HH started out in first place
on the pisser list.

Where to start...HH has a bee in his bonnet about what I do with
my time. I wish that bee would sting him like that nest of hornets
he got into mowing the field the other day. He got stung about 18
times, he said. That'll learn him! He should know not to mow the
dirt, anyway. That's when they all came out. He was weedeating
around a telephone pole, and ate down into the dirt. I guess the
grass wasn't challenging enough for HH. He started in this morning
about how I don't do anything with him and the kids. Hello! Maybe
if he didn't holler all the time, the kids and I would want to do things
with him. Probably not, but an attitude adjustment would help.

HH worked Saturday morning, then arrived at bowling at 1:45.
I took the kids bowling after our TV extravaganza, and stayed
until they were done. Then I brought #2 son home with me after
a stop at Save-A-Lot. HH was nowhere to be seen when we got
home. He went to the barn until 10:00 p.m., except for his trip to
Wal*Mart to buy #1 son a bicycle. But this morning he wanted
to gripe at ME for not spending time with the family. All because
I told him I had to go to Wal*Mart.

And another thing! HH lost #2 son's birthday party invitation, so
they don't know what time to go. #2 says 3:00, so they're trying
for that. I think HH was just cranky this morning because after
his big deal about family time, he didn't get to run off to Casey's
for a soda and a donut, and disappear for a couple hours. Heh
heh. He made a big deal of cooking bacon and eggs for the kids.
I was not offered any. Welcome to my life. Oh, and I cooked
him supper last night while he was in the barn, called him to tell
him it was ready, and heard, "I didn't tell you I was coming over
right now." And this morning, he said, "Well, all you did was throw
something in the oven." Um. Yeah. Last time I checked, that was
still under the category of 'cooking'.

As I got to the end of the gravel road on my Wal*Mart trip, I saw
a woman in a white Chevy Lumina parked at our row of mailboxes,
facing the wrong way. When she saw me, she peeled out of there.
I followed, hot on her tail. We had a high-speed chase at 30 miles
per hour, during which I wrote down her license number. I am good
at multi-tasking. She kept running a tire off the road, what with
looking in the mirror at me. I only followed her to the stoplight,
where she made a left onto the highway. Hey! I am allowed to play
vigilante in my large SUV. I've had mail stolen before! That's a
federal offense, people...tampering with the U.S. Mail.

When I got back home with the Wal*Mart goods, HH was online
at #1 son's computer, chatting with Iraq. That's what he said. For
all I know, he was looking up car parts He hollered at #1 son to
help me carry stuff in. Then about 30 minutes later, he told me he
had a flat tire and was going to town to get it fixed. That was two
and a half hours ago. I need to call that Intervention show about
his soda-and-donut addiction.

The boys and I played a rousing game of LIFE. Which pissed me
off, because my salary was $20 thousand, while theirs were $100
thousand and $70 thousand. Of course #1 son 'forgot' to tell me
about buying stock, and buying insurance, and how I was supposed
to have all my loans paid off before I reached the end of the game.
I take that back. He told me when I was 10 spaces from the end.
He and #2 both felt so sorry for me that they gave me $100
thousand each. Charity. The American Way. Which I promptly
spent on fancy cars, big screen TVs, and a cruise. Not really. I was
only 10 spaces from the end. And owed $175,000 in loans.

LIFE's a b*tch. Then you lose.


Chickadee said...

Oh HM, I'm sorry you're hubby is such an a$$ right now. Does he not notice that you spend a lot of time with the kids? Because from what you have written, you spend more time with the kids than he does...maybe that's the issue.

And as to the thief...were you missing mail? Did you call the police? Maybe you should..or the post office or something so that it stops. But hopefully you scared the woman who doesn't know how to drive in a chase.

Hillbilly Mom said...

That's the thing. HH doesn't get it. In his mind, he does everything with the kids, while I do nothing. On a good night, he spends an hour with them. I know that he works, but he gets home by 5:30, and I make sure they have homework done before then. He doesn't understand that they talk my ear off in the morning before school, and after school before he gets home.

This time I was not missing mail. That's because since the last time it was stolen, I pick it up as soon as I can. It doesn't pay to let it sit there from being delivered on Saturday until Sunday or Monday. They took two electric bills (house and barn), two phone bills (house and cell), and my school letter telling me when to go back in August for the meetings. Since I didn't have the bills, I did not think to pay, and that put us 30 days past due on electric and phone one month. We NEVER do that! Anyhoo...I don't think they got anything important like a refund check or anything, but I am always suspicious now of people I see lingering around the mailbox area. There's a creek and low water bridge, so a lot of people pull into the gravel road and fish for minnows or sunfish. Nobody owns the streams, you know. People could walk up the creek and steal my creek rocks from behind the house if they wanted to.

It's hard to keep track of your stuff in the country. There are no neighborhood watches out here. We've donated several lawnmowers to thieves, and our neighbors lost two 4-wheelers.

Cazzie!!! said...

Men are shits, and when they are at home you cannot do anything about the place, they are like a kid, you cannot clean around them, just cannot. I know it!!! Organisation only comes when they are out working!

LanternLight said...

Sorry to hear about the HH situation.

We had a high-speed chase at 30 miles per hour, during which I wrote down her license number. I am good at multi-tasking.

Now what music was playing on the car stereo? Car chases always seem set to music, and I'm figuring Skynyrd don't cut it.

There are no neighborhood watches out here.

Neighbours in some suburbs here watch your stuff go out the door...

Cazzie!!! said...

Loosing invites is something that happens here all the time! I just did a search for a party #2 son has to go to in 2 days time..I found it in his sister's drawer. Lil' Miss 3 year old says, "But it used to be Nick's and now it is a party for me to go to". Well, we know who is the stealer now don't we? LOL

Hillbilly Mom said...

I agree. I wash the dishes, turn my back, and he's already used a bowl, a spoon, and a glass.

I must admit that the music wasn't chase-worthy. No, it was not Skynyrd. It was from my 70's one-hit wonders CD. I believe it started with My Maria (BW Stevenson), and then progressed to One Toke Over the Line (Brewer & Shipley), and then to Afternoon Delight (Starland Vocal Band). Not exactly music for a low-speed chase.

At least our neighbors don't steal. Well, except the LandStealer...and he has moved.