Crime Doesn't Pay

Today's happenings included the sight of two school-age boys
walking up Main Street, right in front of the school, around 12:45.
Umm...that is during school hours. They didn't belong in our building,
but calls were made to our other facilities, and we discovered that
they were indeed AWOL. Almost, because somebody had called
in their absences, but at this point the somebodies are still being
determined. Anyhoo, I only noticed that on accident because I
had to use the office copier because a cadet teacher was running
massive amounts of megacopies on BOTH copiers in the teacher
work room. Shortly after the call was made to the other schools,
I heard a police siren up the street. Yep. In this little town, the
coppers will nab any hooky-playin' hooligans for traipsing around
in broad daylight. I mean ALLEGED hooky-playin' hooligans. It's
possible that parents called in their absences. And like HH enjoys
saying, "It's possible a monkey might jump out my a$$, but I don't
look for it to happen anytime soon."

After school, we had to make a stop at Wal*Mart. Guess what?
They managed to piss me off again! I know, who woulda thunk
that? More on that later.

I gave the boys each a dollar while I was in line to check out. I
don't like to do that, because #1 son is too good at a certain race
car game, and I usually end up standing there with melting frozen
food while he finishes a game. Either he's good, or he strong-arms
younger children in the play room for more than a dollar. This time,
both boys promised to play a grabbing game-type thingy that does
not take long to eat their money.

After paying, with that blasted machine thingy messing up my pin
number on my debit card by counting each number twice, I saw
that #1 had a big orange stuffed tiger. He tossed it in the cart. He
asked for another dollar for each of them. "I almost had that dog,
but it got caught on the tiger, and all I won was the tiger. That
dog is just in the right place." Yeah. I'm a sucker for a begging
child. But I only gave them ONE dollar. See there. I can't be
completely manipulated. #1 put in the dollar, #2 moved the hook
thingy, and #1 adjusted it slightly. They grabbed that dog. That
boy is good at beating those money-stealing games. It only cost
me three dollars to get a dog and a tiger.

Oh...but you should have seen #2 son's face light up when #1
said he could have the dog. It was more like a bear with a dog's
head, dressed in overalls, with a little fishing hat. #2 hugged it.
He carried it up in the air, holding it by its stuffed armpits. He
tossed it and caught it like a doting father will do with a laughing
baby while the mother looks on in horror. He was practically
skipping out of the store. Even #1, his mortal enemy, had to
smile at his glee.

Even the greeter/goodbyer said, "It looks like somebody won
a dog!" Just then, that buttpainy shoplifter-catcher dinger thingy
went off. As WE pushed our cart through. So I stopped and
got out my receipt. I had only bought food, and 3 ink cartridges
for #1 son's printer. I told the lady, "We bought some cartridges."
She said, "I guarantee that's what it is." Because the last time I
checked, Wal*Mart didn't put those magnetic shoplifter-stoppers
on food. The greeter/goodbyer took the three cartridges back to
a register. When she returned, she held up the magenta one and
said, "This was it. No matter what we do, some of those won't
scan." Which I took to mean that they wouldn't be cleared of
their magnetic thingy, because we certainly did have it scanned
and paid for it, as she saw on the receipt. She wrote down
something in her little book, and gave me back the cartridges.
At least she was pleasant.

In the car, #1 made #2 cover his ears. He whispered, "I was
going to give that dog to my girlfriend, but he's so happy with
it, I can't take it away." Awww....that made me cry. He's never
that sweet.

And he gave him the tiger, too.