Sunday, September 24, 2006

Hillbilly Mom Joins the Pro Bowlers' Tour

We bowled a few games after the boys' bowling league yesterday.
You don't need to know about HH's or #1 son's scores. Because
here at the Mansion, everything is ALL ABOUT ME! I'm so proud.
My scores were 42, 93, and 91. If you don't know anything about
bowling, that is very good. Olympic level, maybe. If you DO know
something about bowling...keep your big trap shut!

I was especially proud when I knocked down the two pins on the
right in my 7-4, 6-10 split. I'm not sure if that's what you call it, but
you have two pins left on the left side, and two pins on the right side.
It is almost impossible to knock down all 4. When I knocked down
the two on the right, HH said, "That's pretty good." Until I told him,
"I was aiming for the two on the left."

After the first game, #1 son said, "Mom, maybe next game you can
get #2's average. That is 52. The boy is 8, and has just started using
one hand to bowl, instead of rolling it with both arms. Last time we
bowled, I got a 124. That is my highest game ever. It was about a
month ago. #1 son said, "Mom, in your case, you did way better the
first time you bowled after 2 years. Maybe you shouldn't bowl so
often." They all had great fun at my expense. Except #2 son, who
said, "You are doing great, Mom. Can I have another dollar?" That
boy knows how to get along in this world.

HH got a new bowling ball a few weeks ago. It smells like black
cherry. Yeah. It really does. I'm sure he's the only one in the men's
league with a fruity ball.

I don't have much more to report today. My kids are expecting to
be fed, even though I just fed them Friday night. Man! Hillbilly Mom's
work is never done.


LanternLight said...

Wow!, you're on a roll HM. An Olympic level score (I don't know Jack Smit about bowling), then an early HillBilly Mom blog post...

What next? World Peace? Divining why women insist on the toilet seat being down? The possibilities are endless!

Can I have a dollar?

Kieran said...

Kids are cheeky. Can't they learn to hunt for themselves? Forrage?

MrsCoach2U said...

Would ya like to borrow my nift pink/purple bowling shoes I got as a wedding gift? Yes I said wedding gift, you gotta know this family! I haven't worn them in forever, they are just sitting next to "Brenda", my purple ball I got at a garage sale with the name Brenda already engraved in it. Guess I didn't rate enough for my own name....

Hillbilly Mom said...

I always took you for one of those charmers. I see I was right. Don't spend that dollar all in one place.

I'll get to working on World Peace just as soon as I am done promoting stricter penalties for parole violators. Stan. (If you haven't seen Miss Congeniality, you won't know what I'm talking about. But that's OK. Many people don't know what I'm talking about.)

My thoughts exactly. Even the cats bring in mice, and they're not as intelligent as my kids. I knew I spoiled those kids, what with throwing out some fish sticks, or chicken nuggets a couple times a week.

I must find a way to butcher your name like I do everyone else's. But that's a job for another day.

I have my own bowling shoes. They are white. I think they are specially manufactured for bowlers of my caliber. 42 pins per game bowlers.

I would not dream of taking 'Brenda' away from her happy home. I also have my own ball. It is a neon green swirly pattern, and is supposed to glow in the dark. I think I will name her 'Greenie'. I have never bowled in the dark. Maybe that's the problem.

Redneck Diva said...

This may be the first real indication that your husband and my husband are NOT the same person - I have never smelled black cherry on my husband's ball.

Hillbilly Mom said...

You are OH SO GOOD at picking up those clues! Here's a Scooby snack. Tell Velma she needs to step it up. And don't leave any crumbs in the Mystery Machine.