Friday, September 01, 2006

The Never-Ending Day

Whew! I thought the weekend would never get here. Time slowed
down today. I looked at new senior rings that were delivered
Wednesday. I did some subject/verb/indirect object thingies. I
figured perimeter, and I calculated the area of the elusive half-circle,
half-triangle figure. I checked grades. I turned in my sub folder that
was due yesterday. Hey! I didn't have a map of the building. I had
to take one off the bulletin board and copy it. Of course the copier
was jammed when I went to use it. I didn't fix it, because I knew
it would be out of paper when I got it running. That's my luck. So
I used the forbidden office copier. I don't do that often. It was only
ONE copy. I wrote next weeks plans in my plan book. I cleaned
my white board with some baby wipes. All this before 9:00 a.m.

Next cat out of the bag (No real cat. No real bag. It's just an
expression.), I listened to a class shaming a boy for wearing flip-
flops. Not because he wore them, but because he wore them
on LAB DAY in Science. Off with his head!!! I let him go to
the office to call his mom for shoes. No dice. (Of course I don't
mean real dice. They are gambling apparati, and not allowed in
a school. What were you thinking?) His mom was on her way
somewhere, and couldn't bail him out (No. We weren't really
sinking under water. I'm pretty sure my classroom is water-
tight. This is the new building.) While passing out papers at the
end of class, I saw the kid tying a pair of white shoes. "Where
did you get those?" "Nice Guy loaned them to me." I saw that
Nice Guy was now wearing the flip-flops. What a Nice Guy!
He'd give you the shoes off his feet! Nice Guy explained, "I
don't have Science until 6th hour. I can get them back at lunch."

Proceeding to the next class, I made a kid write sentences for
throwing a wadded-up piece of paper at the wastebasket. Mrs.
Hillbilly Mom does not allow paper to fly through the air in her
classroom. No paper wads, no trash, no airplanes, no spitwads,
no flying boxes of tissues (well, just that one that hit me in the
head, and that was more than enough). The kid seemed genuinely
sorry. "I sorry, Mrs. Hillbilly Mom." He looked like he had lost
his only friend. Which sometimes I think I am. "I'm sorry, too,
but I've already told you not to throw at the wastebasket. You
missed me, too, so you are a really bad shot, whichever of us
you were aiming at. You still have to write." He did. With no
more grumbling.

After racing to Lower Basementia, I explained perimeter and
area. That will need more work. They want to find the perimeter,
the multiply that by the length for area. Um. No. We'll take two
more days on it. It's only rectangles and parallelograms. Not like
I'm teaching them to resect a bowel or anything.

I tried to pay my money for the flower fund in that building. You
know, for sending flowers for new babies and funerals and get
well and stuff. Nobody wanted it. I was brushed off. While trying
to donate MONEY! I told them they'll have to come pry it out of
my hot sweaty hand when they decide who wants it. Not really,
but close enough.

After that, I demonstrated a little long division, tried to explain the
rule of nines to the unenlightened (who decided they liked using
their fingers just fine, thank you very much), and read a little
Treasure Island. Long John Silver is not a nice guy. Sorry if I
ruined it for any of you.

Whew! Now I must go draw some rectangles, parallelograms,
and squares. Oh, my!

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