Friday, August 18, 2006

A Tale Out of School

Hey! There's something I forgot to tell you about our first day of
school! It wasn't intentional. I'm not holding out on you. I didn't
know it myself until my teaching buddy Mabel called Thursday
night to tell me. She has the hotline to Hillbilly Mom. And to think
I made her wait 40 minutes until I finished watching Big Brother.

It seems that a town water pump broke. I knew something was
up when I arrived for the first day of school, and the drinking
fountains had trash bags taped over them. That just means 'don't
drink the water'. No big deal. It happens several times a year.
The school gives out bottles of water to the students.

I left Mabel's building after 3rd hour in a hurry, as I now have to
get across town to my Lower Basementia classroom by 4th hour.
It's quite a challenge, especially finding a parking space. Nothing
out of the ordinary there. I had no clue. Until my Mabel spilled the
beans, let the cat out of the bag, sank the ship with her loose lips,
spilled her guts, sang like a canary, and revealed what I'd missed.
That Mabel! She is quite active. I'm amazed she doesn't throw a
hip out of joint.

Unbeknownst to us faculty across town, our brethren were not
only without drinking water, they were without toilet water. That
school and the elementary building are on the water system of the
broken pump. Town powers were afraid that two school
buildings would use up the water stores, leaving the townspeople
with no water pressure. You know how students are, flushing
willy-nilly, much like they use 40 boxes of Kleenex per year in
each classroom. Snotty little flushers!

Those two buildings brought in Port-A-Potties. Johnnies on the
Spot. Plastic outhouses, people! On the first day of school!
Well, as you can imagine, this caused quite a stir. Mabel reported
that the attitude of the students was:
This is the best first day of school ever!

I asked my #2 son if he got to use the bathroom during school.
"Yeeessss." He looked at me like I was up to something. I asked
if he meant the real bathrooms, or a Port-A-Potty. Or as he calls
it, a Porty Potty. "Mom! Those were outside! We used the real
ones in the building. But we weren't supposed to flush. The
teachers said they would do it later." Can you imagine, an
elementary school on the first day, and not able to use the
bathrooms? Me neither.

Meanwhile, those of us in the land of Basementia went about our
ordinary lives, swilling from the drinking fountains at will, flushing
as the mood struck us. Who knew the drama being played out
across town?

#2 son brought home a note that we should watch the school
closing channel this morning. I didn't quite understand why, until
my trusty Mabel filled me in. It was just in case the pump didn't
get fixed this morning. It did. All systems were flush today, but
still no drinking water. There's a boil order for a while, so the kids
are being spoiled by getting to carry those water bottles to class.
It will be hard to wean them when the time comes.

They will think they're entitled.


Redneck Diva said...

Ooh port-a-potties AND a boil order! Y'all Missourians are livin' the high life!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Missouri. God's country.
And crystal meth capital of the world.

Stewed Hamm said...

Next thing you know Diva, they'll have a plague of locusts and all us heathens won't ever hear the end of it.
"They were OH SO BUZZY, and all our crops were eaten... nyah nyah nyah!"