Sunday, August 20, 2006

A Hillbilly Saturday Night

Last night we went bowling. It's an HH thing. He's on a league, and
he has the kids in a Saturday morning league, which starts after
Labor Day. We packed up 4 bowling balls, 4 pairs of bowling
shoes, and three bowling bags, and hit the road. It's only 10 minutes
to our local bowling alley. We got there at 5:55, hauled our stuff
up the blacktop hill of the parking lot, and were locked out. It didn't
open until 6:00. We stood there waiting, because 5 minutes of car
air conditioning wasn't worth the repeat ascent to the summit of
the blacktop Everest.

Good thing we waited. I had no idea that many people went bowling
on a Saturday night. In the summer. We got lanes 1 & 2, which are
way down at the end, away from everything. I was setting out my
ball, a neon green swirly pattern that glows in the dark. Because
I'm shy and don't like to be noticed, you know. I asked HH, "Do
we have 1?" And HH replied. "No. We have two." It was a regular
'Who's on first?' routine. I kept asking if we had been assigned lane
1, and he kept replying that we had two lanes, not one. Finally, #1
son said, "Yes, Mom. Just put your stuff there. He doesn't know
what he's talking about." Which is how most conversations end
around the Mansion.

#1 son had to rent a pair of shoes, because he'd outgrown his
from last year. He can't get his fingers out of his ball, so we were
going to have it re-drilled, but that will cost half as much as a new
ball, which they will drill for free. We will probably get him a new
ball this season, since he needs a heavier one anyway. He can use
mine until it's ready.

We first ordered food, because we have our priorities in order.
We were planning to go eat somewhere, but decided bowling
alley food was good enough for us. #1 wanted the chicken strips,
but HH, being HH, got him a cheeseburger. That's because when
he walked up to the counter, the lady said, "Oh, I know what #1
always gets: cheeseburger, pickles, fries, Pepsi." That is his regular
Saturday bowling lunch. But this was supper. Anyhoo, he ate it,
with not too much complaining. We also had some sausage pizza,
and #2 son had a hot dog. Except don't tell him, but it's really a
Polish sausage split down the middle, grilled with a heavy flat
metal thingy on its back to hold it down, served on a toasted
sesame seed roll. Which #2 ruins by coating it in ketchup, but
that's the only way we can get him to eat any kind of meat.

I bowled a 99, a 105, and a 115. I know those are not good
bowling scores, but keep in mind that when we bowled in a
family league one whole summer, my average was only 92.
HH bowled a 184 one game, which is pretty good, considering
his average after all these years of league bowling is 134. In
case you have no idea what a bowling score should be, a
perfect game is 300. That is if you get a strike every time.

We wanted to play some good ol' redneck music, but an annoying
child was hogging the jukebox. Someone had played "Sweet Home
Alabama", then the whole thing quit. We asked the lady at the
counter what happened. She asked if we needed a refund. Nope.
But #1 said that it looked like some wires were out of the jukebox.
A kid who works there fiddled with it, and got it going again. So
we put in two dollars for 6 songs. I needed more Skynyrd, so we
played "Gimme 3 Steps". Then Bob Seger had to sing "Roll Me
Away", and Gretchen Wilson was "Pocahontas Proud", and
David Allen Coe let us know that "You Don't Have to Call Me
Darlin', Darlin' ". #1 played a couple songs from this century, but
the names escape me. They were country, though.

After the bowling, the kids played some video games, because
they think they are entitled. It was a pretty good evening of
family entertainment. And it's only going to cost us two new
bowling balls, and two new pairs of shoes, because HH has
decided that he needs new equipment, too. I would like to think
that if I had been bowling in a league for 20 years, my average
would be higher than 134.

Maybe he's been going somewhere else all that time. We don't
really care, as long as he's out of the house one night a week.

I have been having trouble with Blogger. If this shows up twice,
I'll get rid of one when I notice. Right now it looks like won't

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