Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Minor Crisis Averted

Warning: reading today's post may give you a headache. I have
issues. Read on to find out.

A minor crisis has been averted at the mansion. I was happily
surgign away this morsning (well, it was 1"30, but it seemed like
morning to me, because i didn't get up until 8:0s this morning.
I checked my email, or almost did. After typing in my user name,
I hit the "Tab" to go right to the password. At first , my silly old
computer papped me back to the ubterbet orivuder oage. Made
that the internet provicer page. Because that's what my pont is:
I am having trounble typing today.

I know you're curious. Has Hillbylly Mom lost her mind" Why
can't she type" Has she never heard of backspace or delete to
correct thexe unsightly errors? Let's get back to the boring story.

Of course I thought my internet servcie provider had messed up
somthing wiht their unk. Then I tried my school email. Hmf! It
didn't let me tab down, either. I called my child to come fix my
computer boo boo. He ws all cusiness. "Here. let me get some-
thing to pop that tab button off. This spork iwll do." OK, so he's
outed me for occaisionally eating a taco salad while sitting at my

Ths spork thing wansn't happening, so he tried my Harrah's
Total Rewarsd card. Agian, he's outed me for being a gamblier
that has to use that blasted Harrah's card to be bale to play at
their casino without spending more than $500 in a two-hour
session. That's what the websites say, anyway, that miissouri
casinos have that "loss limit" thingy to prevent gambling from
geing a problem. I knew thwn the 'riverboat' casinos actually
used ot cruise the Mississippi, they had two-hour sessions, and
you had to pay to get on the 'boat'. Now they are all docked
and permanent buildings just floating on pontoons or something
to get around the law.

Anyhoo, the point i was getting at was theat my child took that
card and popped that "Tab" key up into the air like a Poppin'
Hoppy! Anybody remember those toys from childhoold? Diva"
Probably not, gecause nobody is quite as ancient as Hillbilly
mom, though she is faily well preserved and diowsen't even
stink much. Poppin' Hoppies were little plastic critters on spring
thingies that you'd press down, and a little suction cup thinkgy
held them untiol the spring overcame the suction ant they popped'
into the air. It was great fun. My kids love playing lwith my old
toys at my Hillibilly Mama's house.

OK, back tho to point AGAIN. #1 sonny, the brilliant one, took
a toodthpick and poked at the thingy that is under the plastick
computer key. I guess it is some kind of sensonr. Nothing. I had
been stopeed from tabbing at will.

"It's bad. They are rated for something like 50, 000 hists. Looks
like youres wore out. Your keyboard is junk. But don't worry!
I have one that I spent $20 on and only used it for a week because
i got my wireless keyborasd. Here. I'll hooki it up. You can use it
unless I want it back."

That child of mine. Her's a regular national treasuere here in
Hillbmoomba. Heg got it all hooked up in about 20 seconsde,
showed me all its bells and whistles which I have no intention
of using. and I was on my way, surfing and blogging again.

The point I am getting at is that you know how it is when you use
another keyboard. The fingers don't fit exactly like you are used
to on the keyboeads you use the most. I'm like ahtat at school,
too. I am used to one building's keyboard, and I mess up a lont
twhen I get to the other one.

I am sure I will adapt, but I din't feel like bckspacing and correctin
sooo much tonight, ecaauce I am lazy and have other things I want
to ldo. But I am glad my sonny boy gve me his keyboard with out
asking me to pay him. He's the MacGuyver of computers, I tell you.
He alsways has spare parts lying around. He gave me a printer
theat I am taking to school, since I already have two printers here'
and he has two or theree. We'fe scavengers, I tell you. I'ts probalby
in HH's faminly crest, a big ol' junkyeard aor some such symbol
for thrifty junk picker-uppers who don't let anything fgo to waste.

I don't know what king this one is, but it had "Mico INnovations"
on it. Make that "Micro INnovations". Alfmost got it, exceotp the
unwanted cap on the N. It's fat and black and has an ergonomic
thingy to rest my hands on, and all kinds of specitl buttons. It dones
t' look so hot with my old HP gary and dark gray sety-up, but it is
sure functional. He an't help it that I have a donosaur of a computer.
I can't move on. I lovesm me some Wondows ME, and anything ]
new will ocm with aht pblasted XP. hey! Do you think it is because
ME is just like ME. ME ME ME, all about ME? Sorry , just a flash
of insight ther for a momoent. Just when I thought I knew what I
was doihng, that darn Bill gates and his people had to throw
a big ol' monkey wernch in my plans. I struggle with it ast scholl
all the time, trying to finguer out how to get here and therw. Bah
humbug to progress, says Hillbilly Mom.I don't know hat happened
there for a minute. the space bar went crazy and kept spacing my
things and I darenly got it sotpped. I don't even know how. It's
like onw minute the space bar was fine and the nesxt minute it
was gone like it had sunk into the plastic or ewomthing, and I had
to pound ontit to see if that would stop itl. It did/ Whew" the srtess
is alomst thoo much for me.

I hope you've been able to stick with me through this mess. I know
it wasn'te easy to read. But it sure was easy to type.

Hillbuyilly Mom unedidted. It ain't a pretty sight.


LanternLight said...

As difficult to read as a James Ellroy novel, but sure more interesting.

Weather forecast in Melbourne, Australia:
"Cloudy at times with a few showers and the risk of an afternoon thunderstorm.
Light to moderate north to northwest wind shifting southwesterly by early

Redneck Diva said...


I DO have such a headache but I'm not sure if it's from the laughing or from the reading!

Do you REALLY type that bad??

Chickadee said...

OMG, LMAO...that's about how bad I type if I don't edit. You can type about 80wpm, but it don't mean a dang thing if half of it's mistakes! LOL.

MrsCoach2U said...

The sad sad part is as I was reading this, I heard it my head with a lisp. Weird huh! I think the heat may be affecting me slightly.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Trying to make me jealous of your weather, huh? We had a few sprinkles today. Just enough to make spots in the
dust on the car.

I don't really type this bad. It's just the new keyboard. I swear.

I have taken that typing test twice. The first time was in high school. I'm so old that there were no keyboards. It was a typewriter--manual, not even electric. It was 42 words per minute after adjusting for errors. The second time was on a keyboard after I'd been entering data for the unemployment office for two years. It was 42 words per minute. Go figure! I'm just not meant to type any faster.

Well, that's a new one. I type with a lisp. But it's still 42 words per minute.

Stewed Hamm said...

Hill-buy-illy Mom. It's like you're typing with a severe drawl... or someone else is taking dictation.

Either way, you're OH SO TYPOED!

Hillbilly Mom said...

I'tgs not nice to pokefun ant someboysdy
with a typing impedimetn!