Friday, August 04, 2006

Achy Breaky Back

My lovely ladymullet head of helmet hair made me use that title.

Today I spent another 4 hours working in my 'new' classroom. It
was a project for Team Hillbilly this time. HH was off work for a
vacation day or doctor's appointment or some such thing. I can't
keep up with him anymore. That man has more days off than a
Missouri state office worker. Like my old supervisor used to say,
"We have a day off every time it's cloudy." I think he said that
the day before our Columbus Day holiday.

HH loaded up my school junk I stored at home this summer due
to the move to the Lower Basementia classroom. He carried in
a bazillion boxes, my two new tables, my fans (the kind that
circulate the air, not the kind who cheer 'Go Hillbilly Mom!
Educate them DoNots!'), and a toolbox. He was a busy beaver,
what with all the chores I gave him. (Yes, Stewed Hamm, I only
used the 'beaver' word to get colorful search phrases to blog
about in the future).

HH set up the tables, hung some Math posters high over the
blackboard, filed away some metal on my black metal cabinet
that is persnickety about opening and closing, found some
hanging shelf holders in his magic toolbox for the bottom shelf
of my bookcase, removed a broken-off ground plug from a
live electrical outlet, and argued with #1 son about a wire.
"It's an Ethernet wire." "It's a telephone wire.It's capped off,
anyway. This one is Ethernet." The boy was right.

#1 did his own tasks. He hooked up my two computers and
got them running. He cleaned some dust bunny hairwads out
of a mouse. (I need to put him to work on our free hot tub).
He removed metal latch thingies off my wooden desk drawers
so they would not jam like the one yesterday. He carried boxes.
He went looking for my missing clock and desks. Again.

#2 son did his thing. He watched old Rugrats videos on my TV.
He's good at babysitting himself.

Once HH and #1 left, I put up my 18 capitalization, punctuation,
and parts of speech mini-posters. I put away stuff from many
boxes. I went on a clock- & desk-finding expedition. EUREKA!
I found both. It was not easy, my friends. I checked my old 3rd
floor classroom again. I checked the old room of the class that took
over my old classroom. I checked the new room of the person
whose Lower Basementia room I am taking over. H*ll, I checked
every room on the 3rd floor.

I found the clock in the last place I looked. Seriously. The very
last room on that floor contained my treasure. I had to be crafty.
The teacher was there. "I am looking for my clock." "Hey! Take
that one!" There it lay, flat on its back on a small table against
the wall. Directly above it hung the clock for that classroom.
"It just appeared. I was wondering who it belonged to."

The chairs were crafty. They would not be taken easily. The
possessor of the purloined clock offered me one desk. "No.
I already have a variety. I want the matching 10 that I had last
year." I searched high and low. And it was low that I found
them. Again, in the last place I looked. Not on 3rd floor, not
on 2nd floor, but right next door to me in the basement. In a
classroom with 32 chairs, 6 of mine were cooling their flexible
round metal feet. I know I'm not so popular as some other
teachers, desks, but why did you forsake me? Didn't you miss
your desky brothers and sisters over the long hot summer?

I set to work. Carry a desk that matched the next-door desks,
bring back one of my woodies. Carry another, bring back a
traitor. I did this six times. Those suckers are heavy. And
awkward. They're the big one-piece molded dark blue plastic
with a full-size desky surface that looks like that stuff on a
composite gym floor. Not wood. That slightly spongy beige-
colored surface. I worked up quite a sweat. But I reclaimed
all my wayward furniture. Now I have 10 matching chairs, plus
another 5 that match their kind. The room looks much better.
About as well as a room in Lower Basementia can look. I
might make Mr. Blackwell's best classroom list. I might not.

Now I have an achy breaky back. It is the lower back; the
muscles are in a spasm. I didn't damage my spine or anything
interesting. No need for faithful Cazzie to perform a quick
sacroiliacectomy over the interenets. I will hurt more tomorrow
than I do today.

Believe me when I say,
"This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you."


Rebecca said...

Hi Hillbilly Mom,
So will we get to see some photos of your new room?

JustLinda said...

But did you know that Billy Ray is back in the spotlight? On the DISNEY channel with his real life daughter who is just adorable. The show is called Hannah Montana and my 10 year old loves it.

Billy Ray (whose character is called Robby Ray) was singing a song called "I want my mullet back" and I was cracking up.

LanternLight said...

Does the basement double as a fallout shelter? I'm wondering as you had an awful lot of missle silos in that part of the USA.

I used to find a nice hot bath or spa did wonders for my back...

Stewed Hamm said...

you mean there are other uses for the phrase "busy colorful beavers?" Who knew...

I mean, if anyone were to search for busy colorful beavers, they'd definitely want to end up here, rather than some low-rent site with pictures of tie-dyed water-rats. I know I would.

Hillbilly Mom said...

I would love to show you some photos of my 'new' room in our 1930-model building.
But I don't feel right about it. The powers might not like it if somebody could actually identify my school district.

I had no idea you were such a Billy Ray Cyrus maven! I didn't know BRC was on Hannah Montana, but my kids have watched that show. Achy Breaky Heart used to play every day on my hour-long ride home from school. EVERY DAY. I liked it the first couple hundred times I heard it.

As a matter of fact it DOES! I haven't seen those yellow triangle sign thingies in a while...the ones that announce the area is a fallout shelter.
Those missile silos are on the other side of Missouri. I used to teach there a while back, and it was eerie the first time I saw one of those in a field. Now I am again giving away clues to my advanced age...but that was back in the days of Reaganomics, and when that movie "The Day After" caused quite a stir. It still bothers me to watch it.

I just can't make myself get into that free hairwad hot tub. HH tells me that would un-ache my back.

Yes, I'm sure those beaver-searching people would rather end up here...

Redneck Diva said...

I remember when the line dance to Achey Breaky Heart was THE thing to do! Good gosh, we were nerds. I saw ol' BRC on TV awhile back. No more mullet. Just some moppy looking thing on his head.

My gosh, who knew getting ready for school was so exhausting!! Wanna come help me get ready for Girl Scouts? Not so much furniture moving as there is organizing glitter, styrofoam balls and felt. Lots of felt.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Indeed, who knew? I can not do the GS thingy. I am not crafty unless I am creating a stunning beer can ensemble for myself. So I can be DRUNK PRETTY.