Sunday, August 06, 2006

Summer's Final Fling

HH and I went to Harrah's casino today. My Hillbilly Mama came
out to our house to watch the kids. Watch them try to kill each
other. That's how it usually goes. She said they were good today.
I didn't see any dried tear tracks on her cheeks, so I assume she
was being truthful.

The casino took our money. Imagine that! Not too much of it,
though. We got there around 8:30 a.m. First off, I fed a Hot
Pepper quarter slot machine $20, and it gave me $40. Good
deal. After that, the video poker machines refused to pay me
today. I tried a little Triple Cherry for $1, with moderate

After lunch, the place was crawling with old people. Older than
me and HH! And I do mean crawling. HH told me I should
play some nickel machines. I had walked past them earlier,
thinking I would come back. Mistake. After the truckload of
old folks arrived, it was packed. I wrestled my way onto a
stool at a Wild Cherry machine. It wasn't too hard. The old
people who didn't have oxygen tanks were frail, and they don't
put up a very good fight when they insist on hanging onto their

I played that nickel Wild Cherry for 90 minutes on $20. I was
up, I was down, I was switching denominations like crazy, trying
to win on a dime instead of a nickel bet! I was a maniac, I tell
you. Until I played that $20 down to nothing, and went to put
in more money. That freakin' machine said 'Changer Off. Call
Attendant'. The attendant never responded to my call light.
What's up with that? At Ameristar, they appear if you so much
as look over your shoulder. It wasn't telling me I'd reached my
limit for the session. HH's card wouldn't make it work, either.

I'd had enough of that waiting around business. We only had
30 minutes left before we had to rescue my Hillbilly Mama from
our evil spawn. I traipsed around some progressive something-
or-other machines. I tried a few plays on some $.50 games.
With 3 minutes left, and $8 left on my machine, I tried to call
HH on his cell phone to tell him where to find me. No signal.
I closed up my phone, pressed the Play Max Credits button...
and won $80. It hit some bar thingy, and two (TWO) round
thingies that had 4X on them. WooHoo! That made my day.
I'm all about the drama. HH had walked up right as it hit. It
still didn't quite bring me back to even for the day, but I lost
less than HH. So that's a winner in my book.

We had a good time. The kids had a good time. And my Hillbilly
Mama told me she had a good time. Life is good at the Mansion.

This was our final fling before the back-to-school chaos.


MrsCoach2U said...

Diva kept our offspring Friday night (she drinks, did you know that? or at least she does now!)and we thought about casino hopping. We went home to change clothes and sat down in our chairs for a minute and were sound asleep by 10:00 p.m. Wonder if she'll keep them again this century? We might try again.

Hillbilly Mom said...

What? No casino? How could you sleep instead of gamble? You must get your priorities in order!

Redneck Diva said...

Mrs. Coach, I will watch those two any time you need me to! They are too precious!

Sorry about that, Hillbilly Mom. I'll pay you for renting that comment space if you like - would you like it in casino credit?

Hillbilly Mom said...

At first you got my hopes up. I thought you were volunteering to watch MY kids so I could gamble. Then I got to the word 'precious' and knew I was sadly mistaken.

I don't mind you using my blog as a meeting place to gossip with your friends while I AM RIGHT HERE and being ignored like I don't count because I only work part of the day in your building and you are nice to me until someone better comes along and then you drop me like a hot skillet that you put in the oven to bake some delicious hamburger and tomato and Bisquick concoction and forgot that a skillet in the oven gets a hot handle and is not meant to be grabbed without an oven mitt so you yell out a bad word and drop your dinner and then have to go out to Red Lobster even though one of your roommates had to sell her plasma twice this week to get that money that will be spent on one of those tall, potent Lighthouse rum drinks in the glass you can keep and some delicious Cheddar Bay biscuits that you know are really made with that demon Bisquick but now everything will work out since you have that delicious Lighthouse buzz and ... what were we talking about?

Redneck Diva said...

I promise to share my Bisquik with you forevermore. And I will always remember to use potholders.

Hillbilly Mom said...

You are the bestest friend I never met. By cracky.