Friday, August 11, 2006

Hillbilly Mom Is In A Snit.

I am in a snit. The world is surely out to get me. Nothing goes as
planned for Hillbilly Mom. We stopped by Casey's for a donut
this morning, and to cash in $10 of lottery winnings. The lady was
soooo sloooow that I didn't feel like waiting to cash in the tickets.
There were 5 people lined up behind us by the time it was our
turn. I bought 3 tickets anyway, $9 worth. Both kids picked one,
and I picked the third ticket. Mine was a loser. Of course. I let
my lucky boy scratch it for me. His ticket won $4. #1 son's ticket
won $10. You'd think the day was off to a good start. You'd be

We worked and worked at school. Make that I worked, #1 ran
around the building looking for people to chat with, and #2 whined
and dropped every videotape he picked up out of his stash in the
cabinet. WHY do they make those things open at the bottom, for
the love of Gummi Mary? Don't they know a kid will pick them
up and BAM they fall to the hard commercial tile floor and cause
the mama of the young 'un to jump out of her skin?

I was about to get done what I'd started yesterday when the
counselor popped in and said, "You know we have to be out
of the building by noon. They are waxing the floors." Hmm...
it was 11:10. I would have to hurry. The phone rang. My Hillbilly
Mama wanted to bring us lunch. I told her no, we were in a hurry.
#1 whined that she should pick him up and take him to her house.
I told him no, that was incovenient for both of us, and he had to
carry in some stuff for me at the other building. Hey! I bought him
a $20 computer game for all the work he has been doing for me.
Work which was not over until the end of today. #2 started to
cry because Grandma wasn't coming to pick him up. He only
gets to stay with her next Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday
while I have my official work days. I think he'll survive. Then my
Hillbilly Mama was upset, and she started to cry. I wish she hadn't
tried to be nice to us by offering lunch. It threw a wrench into my
typing that had to be done and copied by noon. Then HH called
about 10 minutes later, wanting to make small talk. Hmpf! Some
people were trying to work, you know.

At 11:50, I sent #1 upstairs to make 180 copies of my newly
updated course descriptions and classroom rules. I shut down
the computers and rounded up the stuff going to the other building.
I looked up to see #1, telling me that the copier said "Wait 3
minutes to copy." I have never seen this message. Did it mean
wait 3 minutes between copies, or just to start copying, or what?
#1 took his stuff to the car. #2 and I went upstairs to investigate.
It was working, so I put the copies on. I wanted to run 4 sets of
45, because then I would have them for both buildings, and
wouldn't have to count them out. At 41 copies on the first set,
a new message popped up about fill LCT tray. WTF? I never
heard of that, either.

By this time, #1 was back. He didn't know what that was, but
decided to fill tray 3 and copy from it. We pulled out the drawer
and tray 3 already had paper. Why didn't it work? I took out
the paper, which looked crooked. Then I put it back. Aha! Voila!
I made it work. I got 3 sets done. I told #1 to put 45 of the rules
and 45 of the descriptions in my mailbox, so we didn't have to go
back to Lower Basementia. He came back, and for some reason
lifted the lid of the copier. Which dumped a stack of 45 rules
down between the wall and the copier. Can you hear my sigh?
I told him to dig them out and dust them off. We finished up and
took off. It was 12:05.

At the other building, we copied and printed and copied and
hole-punched and finally left at 2:00. I forgot to pick up a bag
of ice and 3 calculators for $1 apiece at Save-A-Lot. When
HH got home, he decided to go to Lowes for a heating element
for the water heater. About time, I say. He has been in denial
all week about the lukewarm hot showers. He and #1 agreed
to stop by Office Max and pick up some 1" three-ring binders
for me. I wrote it down. I showed #1 exactly what they looked
like. Do you think that's what HH bought? Oh, you are soooo
smart! Of course he didn't. He bought six 1/2" binders. They
are not nearly big enough for the resources I must put in them.

I give up. I will not ask HH to get anything else for me. Maybe
he does it wrong so I will quit asking. #1 said, "Well, Dad told
me they were 1". " I asked him why they said 1/2" on the label.
"Well...he didn't look at the label. He said, 'Those look like 1" .' "

I guess it's true. Men can not measure. 1/2" looks like 1" to them.


Stewed Hamm said...

I guess it's true. Men can not measure. 1/2" looks like 1" to them.

There's a scathing joke about penis size in there somewhere... but I'd get in trouble with the union if I were the one to make it.

WV: kvjnx - Cave Jinx. The curse that infected your attempted workday in Lower Basementia

Hillbilly Mom said...

I knew SOMEONE would remember that joke. Perhaps this notebook thingy is how it all got started...Naw, it had to be back in the caveman days, even before we knew what an 'inch' was.

I think you have put your finger on my Lower Basementia difficulties.

Redneck Diva said...

Heehee......amen, sister.