Groundhog Day in August

Tomorrow is Groundhog Day. Not the real Groundhog Day. Silly
people! Everybody knows the real Groundhog Day is Mabel's son's
birthday. Oh, and it's in February.

No, tomorrow is Groundhog Day in my classes. Like the Bill Murray
Groundhog Day. Everything repeats itself. That's because my mathies
didn't get the lesson. None of the 3 classes got it. 3 different classes,
3 different maths. It can't be me...can it?

One class can't add and subtract positive and negative numbers.
"Can we use a calculator?" Duh. That's why you can't do it now.
Too many homework assignments with the contraband calculator.
I told them I could teach a MONKEY to add and subtract on
a calculator. Sure, maybe it would have to be Coco, the gorilla,
but it could be done. This gosh-darn newfangled math! It is SOOO
confusing. Tomorrow we will do our lesson using Mr. Number
Line. It was good enough back in my day. And WE know how
to add and subtract, by cracky. We did it that way, and we
LIKED IT! OK, not really. We merely tolerated it, but we know
how to do it now.

Another class can't write algebraic expressions from words. Like:
Three less than the product of 5 and a number is 17. What? You
can't do it either? Prepare the handbaskets for immediate departure!
It would help if they knew that a product is not the answer you get
when you add. This class is actually my most promising. By the
end of the hour, with much help, the light bulb goes on over a few
heads.

The class de resistance is the one that can't solve equations. Don't
think I'm being hard on them. It is new to them. But it is a skill they
need at this grade level. I took it slow. They said the regular math
teacher had not gone over it yet. OK. Then she will tomorrow,
because I plan my classes according to the skill she is teaching
that day. She did mention that one class was a day behind. I gave
them the benefit of the doubt. I spent all hour working them on
the board, with part of the class volunteering to come up and give
it a try.

Here's my issue. From the beginning, I heard.

"We haven't done that."
"I can't do it."
"I don't get it."
"Still don't get it."
"What's that noise?"
"Is that a phone?"
"What's that beeping?"
"It's not me."
"It's in your folder."
"No it isn't."
"I still don't get it."
"Is that you beeping?"
"NO! It is coming from over there."
"Do we have to write down the answers to those on the board?"
"I didn't get them!"
"I still don't get it."

So Mrs. Hillbilly Mom had to give them a little lecture about five
minutes into class. Don't worry about the beeping. Since it's so
distracting, tomorrow I'll send you to the principal one at time
until we figure out who it is. It's too bad you don't get it, since
we will stay on this until you DO get it. That's what this class is
for. Did you think that you could throw up your hands and say
'I don't get it' and it would go away? Oh, no. You will have this
for the next five years. We can't just go on because you 'don't
get it.' In fact, we will do this very same worksheet again
tomorrow. Only YOU will do it, not me. And I will collect
this one with the answers SOME of you have written down.

"But I won't be here tomorrow. I have band." From the only one
who really made and effort, and volunteered to work them out.

Don't worry. I'm sure we will still be on the same paper the day
after tomorrow, too. So you won't miss out on the chance to do
it again. We might spend most of the year on it, until you 'get it.'

Oh my goodness. They did not like that at all. And I am going to
bust them for fibbing, because the regular math teacher said she DID
go over it already. I am expecting much more effort tomorrow.

On Groundhog Day.

If you want to check your math skills, the algebraic expression for:
Three less than the product of 5 and a number is 17 is:
5n -3 = 17. And if you care to solve it, n = 4.

No charge for the 8th grade math lesson.
You're welcome.