Friday, February 02, 2007

Hillbilly Mom's Night Out

In a couple of hours we will be headed for the casino. WooHoo!
The bag is packed, the snacks are stowed away, the electronic
games are charged, and all we are waiting on is HH.

We ventured to town this morning to get money, Nasonex, gas,
a birth certificate, and AAA batteries. Everything you need for
a casino trip. OK, the birth certificate wasn't necessary. I only
need it to renew my driver's license next week. Darn, I hate that.
It seems like only six years ago that I renewed it. That's because
it was. Missouri ain't right in the head.

Or IS it? Because to get a birth certificate, I had to go to the
County Health Center and pay $15. Yep. A hospital birth
certificate isn't good enough. Missouri has to have one with
the raised, embossed seal of--you guessed it--THE STATE
OF MISSOURI. I don't know what it costs to actually renew
the license, but you can bet the license office will add their fee
into it, too. It's highway robbery, I tell you. And Missouri has
some of the worst highways and bridges in the country. What
are they doing with all this money? Great Googley Moogley!
Do you know how many lottery tickets I could have bought
with that $15? Oh, yeah. The state runs the lottery, too. With
the proceeds allegedly going to education. Heh, heh. I only
gamble to pay my paycheck.

My sister just called to report that my mom is out of surgery.
She has a pin in the end of her FAT RED PINKY FINGER.
She has a brown bandage on it that can't be removed for
10 days. She gets the pin out in 6 weeks. The doctor said
he scraped down to the bone, and that he did not think there
was any infection. He thinks the arthritis was causing the
finger to bend over at the end joint. Hmpf! I suppose arthritis
goes away with antibiotic treatment, and comes back within
two days, getting fatter and redder and spreading up the
finger to the hand and wrist. Who knew? That demon arthritis
must be a tricky feller. Anyhoo...the doctor said he's going to
culture the bone scrapings and see if there's an infection, and
if so, they will know what anitbiotic will knock it out.

My sister-the-mayor's-wife told the mayor, "Surely if I can
get her there and home from the surgery, Hillbilly Mom can
stay with her tonight." To which our mom replied, "Oh, she's
going to the casino!" I don't know what the mayor had to say.
I don't feel bad. I am the one who took her to the ER when
I first saw the FAT RED PINKY FINGER. I am the one
who checked on it every day, and made her go back to the
doctor, and back again, and told her not to settle for the
osteopath who wanted to hack it off within a week of seeing
it. And I don't think she needs anyone to stay with her. She
is very independent. The doctor even said she could drive
if the pain med didn't make her woozy. I figure she will sit
down in her recliner, prop up that pinky, and snooze to the
TV all night. That's what she usually does. It's not like she
had a leg cut off or anything. I asked her before I made the
reservation if she thought she would need me after she got
home, and she said, "No. I'll be fine." She was probably
hoping I wouldn't bring my devil spawn out there to spend
the night, like in the ice storm!

Anyhoo...HH is on the way home. That's all for tonight.
And tomorrow is TRIVIA NIGHT!

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