Hillbilly Mom Goes To Meetin'

Changes are afoot, as AlexandriaLeigh once told her readers.
Silly me. I was afraid something was wrong with her foot. Thank
the Gummi Mary her dainty hooves were just fine. I can not yet
tell you about my changes. NO! It's not the 'change of life'! I
know StewedHamm would pop off with something of that sort
if I didn't beat him to it. No, I will have to make you stew in your
own juices with suspense.

What I can tell you is that I am eagerly awaiting Friday to find
out if I am one of the 20 finalists in the Design Your Own Lottery
Ticket contest with molottery.com. I have some slim hope.
Perhaps a lot of artistic people did not want to go to all that
trouble of designing a ticket and sending it in. Perhaps the ones
who have no life (like me) are not artistic. You never know. As
with the lottery: you can't win if you don't play. The prize is
$200 worth of scratch-off tickets if you make the top 20. I'm
not holding my breath, though.

In other news, we had a faculty meeting today at the building
which is not Basementia. I had instructed my youngest boy to
"Get off the bus at the first building." Did he do it? Would
there be any point to this story if he had? #1 son and I rushed
from Basementia to the meeting. #2 was nowhere to be seen.
He is supposed to sit in my doorway. I rushed on to the meeting
(which they always start without me, go figure, they must not
have gotten the memo that IT'S ALL ABOUT ME). I tossed
#1 the keys to get the phone from the car and call Basementia
to see if #2 arrived there and was unattended. Turns out he
was, but that's tough, little dude, you shoulda listened to your
mama, so sit tight until the meeting is over and we can retrieve
you from Basementia.

Oh, but there's more. The meeting lasted about 30 minutes.
We learned that we're getting a new gradebook system next
year that can be accessed from home (WooHoo!), and that
we should be really, really, really, emphasizing MAP-style
assignments right now in the homestretch toward the March 27
test date, and that we should have filled out our online 'school
climate' surveys for both buildings if we're travelers, and that
there will be school on President's Day, and that club meeting
day and advisory day have changed from Wednesday to
Thursday this week, and that there will be no afterschool
program for Fers this week, and that Progress Report grades
should be updated by 10:00 a.m. Monday (no exceptions),
and that we may be attending school instead of having parent
conferences on March 16, and that there are people coming
to evaluate the school on March 13 14 15, so be on your
best behavior (not so much said as implied), and that there
will be a special meeting of Math and Science teachers on
Tuesday and Wednesday.

That's most of it, but like I said, they started without me, so
I might be missing the most important link, or perhaps they were
just planning a big surprise birthday party for me, but that seems
unlikely since nobody there really likes me except Mabel, and
she had bus duty and got there even later than me, and by the
way, THANKS AGAIN, Mabel, for making sure my boy got
off the bus like he was supposed to, don't you know you are his
keeper on faculty meeting days, because I'm sure I implied that
every other meeting day, but I must have been just too subtle, so
don't worry, I will still buy cookie dough from your fundraiser
even though I refused the magazines this year because they were
so messed up last year, what with taking TOO long to arrive
when all I did was renew them, but thank the Gummi Mary,
Mabel, that we looooves us some fundraiser cookie dough
up in this Mansion.

Just when I breathed a sigh of relieve that the meeting was over,
(much like y'all and that last sentence), and I could fetch my little
8-year-old from big ol' drafty, scary Basementia...the principal
called my name to keep me after the meeting. WHAT? I ran
down my mental checklist of things I shouldn't have done, things
I should have done but didn't, things I said and who might have
narced on me and who would appear more credible (me or them),
and things I have done but couldn't possibly be found out for. It
was a short list. Because generally I'm a good egg, and when I'm
not, I'm very, very, careful about leaving no trail. Right, Mabel?

Whew! It was just for a talking-to about some changes. Not
about anything I have done or not done or said or been caught
at. Including ending sentences with prepositions because I am
currently teaching English and prepositons are not good for
English teachers to end sentences with. I know DeadpanAnn
knows what I'm talkin' about. As for the things we discussed,
I am ambivalent. If you don't know what that means, it pays to
increase your word power, people.

More later as this story develops.