Sunday, December 10, 2006

Rumble At The Devil's Playground

Nothing exciting to report today. HH is gone to his boss's house
for the annual Christmas party. I used to go, but he lets me off the
hook now. I even went with a 6-day-old baby in tow. That was
a bit of an uncomfortable 90-minute drive there and then another
90 minutes back home.

HH survived the sleepover party. #2 son and I enjoyed Grandma's
hospitality for another night. This morning I did the daily Wal*Mart
shopping. I got into an argument with an elderly shelf-stocker. I had
parked my cart near the center Christmas tree display table because
the aisles were crowded. In the top section of my cart, I had two
Coca Cola bear ornaments that I'd spent 10 minutes picking out
for HH. I also had 5 tins soon to contain Chex Mix. I had been
careful in their selection also, as Goldilocks told me the lids could
not be too tight or too loose. They had to be just right. So I parked
my cart and went to pick out some wrapping paper.

When I returned to my cart about 5 minutes later, my cart was gone!
I looked all around the place where I left it. Funny thing...last night I
dreamed that my large SUV was missing from the parking lot when
I returned from the welfare office. I don't know why I was at the
welfare office, other than to get mad at line-jumpers and declare
that I was NOT waiting any longer, and make a grand exit. Anyhoo...
I spotted my items. Also in the bottom of the cart were about 30
rolls of wrapping paper. A couple walked past the elderly shelf-
stocker who had been singing along with the piped Christmas tunes.
They must have know him. They said, "What have you done now?"
I joined in. "I don't mean to be rude, but I was wondering the same
thing. What have you done now? My cart was parked right over
there, and now it is gone. There are my things in that cart with the
wrapping paper. Did you take my cart?" He became surly.

"That is not your cart."
"Well, that's my stuff in the top. I just picked it out."
"That's not your stuff. I've been using this cart for about an hour."
"Why is my stuff in the top? And my cart is gone?"
"That's not your stuff."
"I can tell you what's there. Two Coca Cola ornaments, and 5 tins."
"Well...I saw some woman messing around there."
"Why would she take my stuff and put it in your cart?"
"I don't know. Here. Take this cart."

There was an empty cart behind his. I gathered up my stuff and
put it in. I'm sure he took my stuff. Why else would there be an
empty cart right by his? Good thing we didn't have to rumble.

I think I could take him.


Mish said...

He probably knew he made a mistake but didn't want to admit it.

Christmas shopping, ARGH.

Stewed Hamm said...

Sounds like Commodore Grumpypants could use a couple choruses of the Wal*Mart cheer.

Hillbilly Mom said...

I agree. He didn't know who he was messing with. After a full day of holding students accountable for their actions, I could not give it a rest. Gramps should have owned up to it. I had my teeth in him like John Goodman on a chicken leg in that movie Coyote Ugly.

Yes, indeed. IF you are talking about that geezer. However, if you are referring to ME as Commodore Grumpypants, you'd better sleep with one eye open, because I will get even grumpier.

Stewed Hamm said...

You know your pants far better than I do, HM. I'll let you determine for yourself if they cross any designated grumpiness thresholds.

(Damn, Threshold is a good word. I should use it more often.)