Friday, December 29, 2006

The Contest. Not THAT Contest, Seinfeld Fans.

And now...for my latest project...I am designing a lottery ticket.
It's a contest. All I can win is $500 in lottery tickets. Or $200
in lottery tickets if I'm in the top twenty designs picked.

Yes, one of these days, I will get a life. But that time is not now.
I haven't worked on it all day because I was watching Disc 1 of
Season 1 of My Name Is Earl. Sure, it was mildly amusing. I
suppose when you are surrounded by people like that 24/7, and
have been since birth, it's not so unusual. I would watch it again.
I am a Jason Lee fan. He's not really an actor. He is pretty much
himself in everything I've seen, from Mallrats to Chasing Amy to
whatever bone Kevin Smith threw him, to Heartbreakers with
Sigourney Weaver, Gene Hackman, Ray Liotta, and Jennifer
Love Hewitt. You must see Heartbreakers. I laughed all the
way through it. It's one of my favorites. But don't watch it if
have a phobia about breaking off a statue's p*nis. All I'm
sayin' prepared. You may not want to watch it with
your 98-year-old grandma.

Now, for more about my design. Am I going to tell you what
it looks like? Oh, HECK no! I was not born yesterday. Just
ask my buddy Lantern. I know better than that. You can't
bamboozle me into telling. Then one of y'all could just steal
my idea and run off with my bounty of lottery tickets. Like
something that might happen on an episode of My Name is
Earl. Bounty-stealers!

No, I shan't describe what my design looks like until that
contest is over in mid-February. I shan't, I tell you! Now
you have upset me and put me into my Hayley Mills mode.
Not the Hayley Mills from her guest appearance on Saved
By The Bell
, or the Hayley Mills from Twisted Nerve. I
mean the Hayley Mills from The Parent Trap, and The Chalk
, and The Trouble With Angels. I just love it when
she and June Harding give their names to Mother Superior
as "Sandy Beach" and "Fleur De Lis". Anyhoo, I am not
as old as Hayley Mills. I'm just giving Lantern more fodder
for his age-guessing gig with the carival.

Have you ever seen Leap of Faith, Lantern? It's a Steve
Martin movie, but he doesn't act like Steve Martin. Anyhoo...
the point I'm getting at is that when his bus is pulled over
for speeding, Steve-O finagles his way out of a ticket by
appealing to the cop's inadequacies concerning his family
life. He guesses the name of the cop's daughter by picking
the most common girl's name given during that time period.
But Steve-O wouldn't even have had that problem if he
hadn't let Meat Loaf drive that bus. Didn't he know that
Meat would drive like a bat out of he!!? Duh! Perhaps you
should watch it, Lantern. It might help you with your
carbon-dating system. Oh, and the cop is now Frank the
desk clerk on ER, just in case any of you doubt old Hillbilly
Mom's trivia knowledge in the entertainment category.

It's been a treat treating you to some of my obscure favorites,
but I must be getting on with my contest design now.

Don't even try to guess what it looks like.


Chickadee said...

But do we get to see the finished product in Feb? I hope so!

I LOVE My Name Is Earl. What a fun gift! I didn't know you were a Jason Lee fan. I think I liked Lee best in Dogma, though he was pretty good in Mallrats. I haven't seen Heartbreakers. I might have to check that out.

LanternLight said...

Well HM it looks as if you have a thing for "con artists".

Saw Leap of Faith years ago. Might I suggest "Catch Me If You Can", the book, not the film.

Carbon-dating system??? I'm told that wrists are a good guide to a persons age.

Hillbilly Mom said...

If I remember, I'll show you what I submitted. I like Dogma, but I haven't seen it in a while. I might even have the DVD. Yes, you should watch Heartbreakers. I warn's not for the easily embarrassed.

Yes, I am fascinated by the con. Perhaps I will check into that book this summer, when I have more free time.

Wrists, you say? In that case, I am 20. I have very young wrists. Only 2 or 3 wrinkles in each one.

Stewed Hamm said...

Earl is still the best show on TV, and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise.

Leap of Faith, on the other hand, sucked balls.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Earl is starting to grow on me.

I'm shocked that you did not fully appreciate Leap of Faith. Liam Neeson was in it. And you KNOW what they say about him...Oh! Perhaps that doesn't interest you.