Tuesday, November 07, 2006

HM Demands Her Right To Vote

Somebody check my biorhythm chart, quick! There must be a reason
that my life is not running smooth right now. Perhaps it's because I
neglect the 'ly' on my adverb usage. Pardon me while I whine a bit
more. I didn't have enough time yesterday. Let me elaborate.

After a day that was pretty much a Groundhog Day of yesterday,
I went to vote. Oh, that was after I picked up some medicine, after
turning around to go back for it because I forgot. When I arrived
at the church basement to vote, the blue-hairs told me I was not on
the rolls. AGAIN! That happened in the last election. I had to step
aside like somebody asking for fresh food at a fast-food drive-thru,
and fill out a change of address form even though my address hasn't
changed in the last 9 years. Oh, that was after a blue-hair typed in
my info on a tiny little keyboard hooked up to a PDA, and found
that I WAS listed there, but they didn't know why I was left off the
rolls. In the meantime, somebody swiped my pen that I had laid on
the check-in table. Then I had to wait in line to vote on the machine,
not a regular ballot, because my son is all about the technology, and
I think it's good for him to see a voting situation. Of course the man
using the machine took about 15 minutes, and the lady between us
said, "I'm taking a ballot, it will be quicker." She was right. I finally
got my turn, and patriotically cancelled out my husbands votes. HH
shall rue the day of women's sufferage.

After preparing my children a nutritious meal of frozen school-fund-
raiser pizza dipper, I heated up some chicken wings for HH and
myself. Upon eating them, I bit into my thumb. It DIDN'T taste like
chicken, just in case you were wondering.

Sometime between last night and this afternoon, some critter bit me
in the bendy part of my right elbow. I hope it wasn't a brown recluse,
as those guys really need to get out more, and perhaps then they
wouldn't be so inclined to rot the flesh of unsuspecting humans. I don't
know when it happened, but since I didn't notice it this morning, and
I didn't notice any big-a$$ spiders crawling on my appendages, I
suspect it was something in the coat that I put on for bus duty today.
Yes. The everyday joys of Hillbilly Mom never end.

I am OH SO TIRED of hearing students complain about their cell
phones. They used to be totally banned from the building. Now, they
must remain unseen and unheard. (The cell phones, not the students,
but oh, what a wonderful world it would be if we were talking about
those pesky students!) If not, the teacher is to take the phone away
and turn it in to the office. Then the kid has to ask the principal to get
it back. The next time, the parent must come to reclaim the phone.
These 9th graders are just not playing with a full deck, methinks. If
your cell phone goes off, and the teacher tells you to bring it up to the
desk, it does not behoove you to say, "What cell phone? That's not
mine." And then pull it out of your pocket to peep at it. Because that
teacher is gonna be hoppin' mad, what with your shenanigans, and you
are only making it worse for yourself. That's the story I heard from my
2nd hour class this morning. Then I saw that the phonee in question
had two days of ISS added to the one I'd already been notified about.

What makes these kids think it is their RIGHT to whip out that
phone whenever they desire? Are they thinking, "Those rules apply
to everybody else, but not me. I am special." What would a school
be like if everybody was allowed to whip out their phones willy-nilly
and chat at any time? How would one of these kids feel if a teacher
whacked them for not doing what they were told, and then said,
"I'm not going by that stupid rule of not hitting students! My dad
told me that if any kid ever smarted off to me, I could hit him. And
if anybody complains, my dad will be up here." Yeah. That's the
logic the kids use. I have not had to cross that cell-phone bridge
yet, but I know it's on my journey to the end of the year.

Tomorrow is backwards day. Not backwards as in 'wear your
clothes backwards for spirit week'. Nope. Backwards, as in 'go
to 7th hour during first hour, 6th hour during second hour', etc.
I am not thrilled about it. It throws off my traveling schedule. The
reason for our early out tomorrow is The Poverty Simulation. The
kids do it each year. Now it is our turn.

Mabel has been quizzing her kids about it. The best she can tell,
you need to be really good at poverty to succeed. The kids told
her to be sure to buy a gun, and to sell meth. And to check every
agency, because some can really help you. Yep. That info is a bit
sketchy. Mabel wants to know if we can bring our own guns, in
case they run out of guns to sell. Not real guns, you silly people!
That's pretty much against the law here in Missouri, even with that
right-to-carry issue. We even have signs all around the school
prohibiting firearms. I hope the kids are not pranking Mabel. I
don't think so. We shall see what comes of teachers playing
poverty.

Perhaps I can draw on my experience of making $8700 per YEAR
during my second year of teaching. I was so poor, I had to walk to
school. That meant I had to walk through the drive-thru lane of the
bank to deposit my paycheck once per month. Did you know that
car exhaust is really unhealthy to inhale from a distance of three feet?
And that Cream of Wheat is not exactly the breakfast of champions,
especially when you have to eat it every morning for 184 school days?

Take my word for it.

7 comments:

Tina said...

Well! I so can't believe Mrs. HM herself hasn't thought of the answer to the cell phone dilemma already. There should be no talking aloud during classes you know. Just text the whole days lesson to their phones. Voila- You get a nap, they get to flip and push buttons and everyone's happy. Ok, ok, so it was just a thought! Pretty soon it'll be nothing but laptops anyway...

Queen Of Cheese said...

First of all times have changed, banks now won't let you walk up to the drive-thru, they say it's potentially threatening. Not sure the thinking on that one.

The cell phone thing drives me crazy, I get text messages from a couple of the girls in high school asking me questions about the bus leaving for games, etc when they are 10 feet from the coach. ASK HIM! Oh wait, never mind, let them text me b/c he's an idiot....Still they see the kids they are calling and texting all day, it can wait. If it's a true emergency someone will come to get you and let you use a rotary phone on a party line to handle your problem with.

Anonymous said...

I thought every day in your world was "Backward Day"...?

Mommy Needs a Xanax said...

$8700, huh? Now that's what I call dedication.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sew,
I can't believe I didn't think of that. That is just what they want!


Mrs.
I agree. We managed to survive in the days before cell phones. I'm sure the school can do it again. We even have intercoms to notify the teacher if they have a call that can not wait. These kids don't need to communicate with others in school. The parents can call the
school if the kid is needed at home. It's just one more thing for them to argue about their rights.


Stacie,
Well, in a manner of speaking, yes, they ARE backward days.

Mish said...

Kids and cell phones these days, eh? My best friend's 9 year old sister has two phones, would you believe. Ugh.

At university we were always told to have our phones turned off, but there would always be one silly bugger that always conveniently forgot the rule. One of my lecturers used to throw various things lying around on hand at these people. Chalk, pens, textbooks...

I really don't see why kids in school need to have phone with them all the time. Can't they leave them in their lockers?

Hillbilly Mom said...

Miss Ann,
I was very dedicated. In fact, I left a job paying $11,300 to take the $8700 one. I had been teaching science, and didn't want to do it for the rest of my life. The new job offered some PE/Health/coaching combined with science. It was a step up, as it got me an $11,700 job the next year, doing what I wanted to do. The job where I met some of my bestest friends.


Mish,
Umm...these days, lockers are only used to store forbidden soda and leftover breakfast toast or donuts. The students carry all their books in their backpacks, but that doesn't mean they use them. I believe they see the lockers as Drug Dog bait. The dog is not allowed to search in the classrooms, or where students are present. Go figure.