Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Put On Your Lab Coat

Hmm...countdown to Trivia Night. What can I quiz you on tonight? How about...SCIENCE? What? I should not hear screams of NOOOO, people. This is not a democracy. In addition, this is not a gas pump, son. Said Rachel in Coyote Ugly. Which is neither here nor there, but my mind wanders sometimes as I type, and I just answered a comment from StewedHamm with a reference to that classic movie, (stop MOCKING me), and it was fresh on my mind. Put on your lab coat. Make sure you are not wearing any open-toed shoes. Pull your hair back in a bun like Granny on The Beverly Hillbillies (no relation). Now, proceed to the lab single file. Only one person at each station, please. Begin.


Hillbilly Mom's SuperDuper Science Quiz Thingy

1) Who decreed that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction?

2) Who was the scientist who studied genetics using pea plants. Hint: It wasn't Punnett. He's too square.

3) What is the main difference between magma and lava?

4) What makes some atoms more stable than others?

5) Would you like to drop a chunk of potassium in the bathtub? Why or why not?

6) Where are phalanges found?

7) Who or what performs transpiration?

8) Why are there no old crack wh*res? OK, that's not really a science question, but I heard it on Intervention, and thought this was a good chance to use it.

9) A calorie is the amount of e_____ necessary to raise the temperature of one gram of w_____ one degree C_______.

10) Name 3 of the 6 types of simple machines.


Let's see which of you actually paid attention back in Science class, shall we? I have given you a variety of items. Surely you will know something from the Earth, Life, or Physical Science categories. Stew, I'm placing my money on you, because you knew the cube root of 8000. And anyway, I'm Even Steven, so I'm sure to get my money back. I just found $131.42 in the side of my purse this morning. I think I can afford a wager.

Your papers will be graded Thursday night. If you don't know the answer, give it your best shot. Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is easily amused. Once upon a time, a Health student assured Mrs. Hillbilly Mom that one way to avoid AIDS like the plague was to always be monotonous. A Science student informed Mrs. Hillbilly Mom that a dramatic increase in the number of deer being struck by cars was probably due to some new kind of aphrodesiac that started growing on the other side of the road. Oh, and let's not forget the time the Chinese bombed the Japanese at Pearl Harbor, Japan.

Again, I wish you good luck. And NO GOOGLING, by cracky!

10 comments:

Stewed Hamm said...

Well this is what I get for taking a little time off from reading blogs. But since I was called out not once, but twice, I should make some sort of effort at answering your questions.

I hope this will suffice.

Coyote Ugly... good Lord, not one of John Goodman's better decisions.

Peg said...

I failed science...but I will try...

1. Issac Newton?
3.. Magma is in the volcano, lava is what its called once it comes out?
6. phalanges are fingers.
7. isn't transpiration the process of breathing??? inhaling and exhaling.
9. energy, weight?, celsius
10. lever, wedge, pulley

Melina said...

I'm a little late but I have a few answers...
1. Newton
2.Gregor Mendel
3. Magma is underground
4. a positive charge?
6. fingers?
10. Pulley, lever, wedge

Hillbilly Mom said...

It looks like my post on the day after shamed some of you into answering. Whatever it takes.

The Science thingy winner is....

StewedHamm.

Sir Hammic Stewton got 70%, but you have to read it to believe it on his own half-acre of Blogdom.

Riding the crest of her SingSong win a couple days ago, Peg annouced that she wears the Scarlet F in this category, but gave it a try anyway. I'll give her a 45%. But remember people...most of you got ZERO, so don't be MOCKING Peg.

Melina gave it a shot, and earned herself a stunning 50%. Which means she is as good as she is bad. And it also means that I will get more searches in my stats for 'Melina no panties', which I am not sure has anything to do with our Melina, or if it is some other Melina who likes to flaunt it.

Thanks for playing along. You all get a free homework pass. The rest of you have 50 vocabulary words, due on Monday. Good luck.

Here are the correct answers, according to Mrs. Hillbilly Mom. They are not negotiable.

1) Sir Isaac Newton
2) Gregor Mendel
3) Magma is molten rock below the earth's surface, lava is molten rock on the earth's surface.
4) Stable atoms have a full outer shell (or cloud, or energy level...depending on which text you use) of ELECTRONS. For this reason, they do not want to 'borrow' or 'lend' any electrons to another atom.
5) Most people would not want to throw potassium into the bathtub, because alkaline metals 'explode' when they react with water. (OK, Stew, I should have said 'A bathtub full of water'. Who knew some people take dry baths?
6) Phalanges are finger or toe bones.
7) Transpiration is the movement of water through holes called 'stomates' on the surface of leaves.
8) There are no Old Crack Wh*res because they are either DEAD or RETIRED.
9) energy, water, Celcius (or Centigrade)
10) Simple Machines: lever,screw, inclined plane, wedge, pulley, wheel & axle.

No extra charge for the tutoring session. Thanks for playing.

Stewed Hamm said...

I'm not trying to be a sore winner here... but we're talking about science on the internet, so my personal geekdom will demand its day.

Re: question 4, and atomic stability. I was going with the radioactivity / atomic decay angle, rather than atomic bonding. Therefore, it could be argued that your supplied answer is great for a molecular stability question, but not the atomic stability question that you asked.
Mostly, though, I don't want to get in trouble by not giving all my valence electrons their props. Word, y'all.

I see nobody else has anything to add to the discussion re: Coyote Ugly. This gives me great hope for the future of mankind.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sir Hammic Stewton,
While I appreciate your isotopical research, we prefer not to use the term 'decay' here at the Mansion.

I glossed over your Coyote Ugly comment, because, well, I'd hoped that you were not watching it for John Goodman, dear old St. Louis boy that he may be. I found it particularly disturbing when he nearly showed his butt-crack while being auctioned on the bar.

Not that I've ever seen that movie all the way through or anything...

Melina said...

It pleases me to no end that you get Melina and panty hits...I get Melina boobs all the time (and now, so shall you!) Apparently, there's a woman wrestler named Melina on the WWE and she is a latina spitfire. Who knew?

Hillbilly Mom said...

Melina,
You show up pretty regularly in my stats. You and Sammie something, who I figure is a Pr0n star. What good company you keep!

Redneck. Diva. said...

Science makes me cry almost as hard as Math does. I didn't even try.

Although I did know that phalanges are fingers.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Diva,
We're OH SO PROUD of you. For the fingers, not the crying.