Monday, April 23, 2007

All You Gotta Do Is Ask

(OOPS! Lost the photo)

Here's what those little crawdads looked like. Only ours were covered with mud, because they stirred up the creek bottom fighting over a worm. Cazzie asked for a picture, and that was an easy wish to grant.

Some other things people have been asking for in my stats are not so easy to answer. But I'll try.

where did the jetsons live? I just happen to know this, because my Trivia team missed it one time. They are proud residents of Orbit City. Not Space City. That is just wrong. Shame on us.

is a hollow bic pen ever used to smoke crystal meth? I suppose it is. I do not have first-hand experience, but it seems like I saw it once on Intervention. That is where you should go for all your drug paraphenalia needs. I saw a dude smoke crack off a piece of tinfoil, too. Or perhaps is was black tar heroin. I really don't know my drugs very well, for someone who watches them on TV every week. For bonus points, I will throw in that those little glass flower tubey thingies at convenience stores are made for the crack-smoking crowd. Who knew? I just thought there were some very thoughtful men shopping at convenience stores for flowers for their girlfriends.

a fool and his money are soon parted--meaning...give me your money, fool! Now do you understand?

what movie did gretchen wilson watch and announce she will eat at mcdonald restaurant? I don't know, though I'm guessing maybe that Supersize Me movie, since it deals with McDonalds grub. Not to be hatin' on Ms. Gretchen Wilson, our Redneck Woman, but it appears that she was...how you say...mighty familiar with McDonalds before she watched some movie. Just sayin'...

can you spare a square seinfeld? I think he can. Jerry is Even Steven. He'll get another square later, when he needs one. Elaine is the one who's going to give you problems. Offer to buy her a big salad, and make sure you don't call her 'Nip'.

who sang slip into my faith until iambored you never return my call? I never heard this song, but it doesn't sound like a very good one to me. No wonder you don't know who sang it. It's a stinker.

for prepositons, do you fall in or into the water? Stay out of the water. You'll catch your death of cold.

how much vodka per nip? Perhaps you should ask Elaine. I hear her boyfriend is on the wagon. Or is he OFF the wagon? Just don't let Jerry hold his drink.

julie andrews autiobiography released ? I didn't even know it had been arrested.

what does riflmao mean? This one is known only by Redneck Diva and moi. That is what we say around our parts. It means Rolling IN the Floor Laughing My A$$ Off. Because we lay IN the floor, and our kids play IN the road. That's how we roll.

how to describe the smell of a old mansion? Hold your nose, and shout, "Christ, did a cow sh*t in here?" And if you can tell me what old movie that came from, you're as warped as Mrs. Hillbilly Mom. Again, my money is on StewedHamm.


That's all I've got tonight. It's getting kind of late, as Mabel will be sure to tell me tomorrow.

8 comments:

Cazzie!!! said...

Excellent picture, I would neve ever say that HBM does NOT come to the party..you rock woman!!!
My kids raced to my laptop when I shouted, "Quick, come see these crawdad's!!!"

""what does riflmao mean? This one is known only by Redneck Diva and moi. That is what we say around our parts. It means Rolling IN the Floor Laughing My A$$ Off. Because we lay IN the floor, and our kids play IN the road. That's how we roll.""

Sounds oike this is a Worldwide phenomenon, only difference is, I tell my kids to, "Go out in the paddock and play with the snakes"LOL

Chickadee said...

I laughed at the Seinfeld paragraph. Did you see the one last night where Kramer had the assistant? That's one of my favorite one. Kramerica Industries. hehe.

By the way, having crawdads in your creek means the water quality in your neck of the woods is good. Those little guys are not able to hang out in areas with bad water quality. :)

Hillbilly Mom said...

Cazzie,
Back in the day, Hillbilly Mom WAS the party! Bwahaha!

We used to find some BIG crawdads at our cabin when I was a kid. We would fish for them with pieces of hot dog on a string, then use them as bait.


Chick,
My son loves the one with Kramerica's intern. I am partial to the one with the old people...Elaine gets the goiter-woman who dated Ghandi, George's guy fires him from volunteering because he's too depressing, Jerry gets the old man who says, "Ya wanna change m'diaper?", and Kramer and Newman steal the guy's records.

I'm glad our water is good. I think it's spring-fed, because it's wet even in the dry season, and the water is always cold and flowing. The Veteran actually drank it a few weeks ago, but I won't go that far. I suppose it was good, compared to what he might have drunk in Iraq.

Stewed Hamm said...

I've got a question about the In/On the floor thing. If someone's currently in the floor, do you tell them to get out of the floor, or off of the floor? I can't picture getting out of the floor, but if you're already in it, nothing else makes as much sense.

Moving on... Any episode with Kramerica is a first-rate one. I like the name so much I swiped it for one of my Big Blogger entires.

Finally, I'm not exactly sure which movie that line is from, but it sounds awful... worse than Detroit, even!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Stewinginthefloor,
Yes, we say, "Get up out of the floor! Comapany's comin'!" That's just the way we talk in Hillmomba.

All hail Kramerica!

That quote is from the old classic, Kentucky Fried Movie.

Stewed Hamm said...

I knew it was KF... Movie. Apparently you forgot the whole subplot about how Detroit is worse than any concept of hell. Or I was too subtle?
Nah, it's gotta be your problem. After all, it's ALL ABOUT YOU, isn't it?

Redneck. Diva. said...

There is no other place to play, than IN the road. Or IN the floor. That's just the way it is.

Not that I let me kids play in the road or anything. Although, I can remember as a kid if I was particularly annoying, my mother would tell me to hug a truck. Not quite the same as playing IN the road, but if that truck's moving...well, it could be a moderately fun game. I guess.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Stewsublteisyourmiddlename,
Sorry. I was too stupid to catch on. I was too busy dishing up a heapin' helpin' of baked ME, with some tangy MEinara sauce, on a bed of steamed ME, with some toasted garlic ME on the side, and a bowl of deep-dish ME-a-la-mode for dessert. Washed down with a nice, frosty mug of ME.

Diva,
That does it! I'm calling 1-800-BAD-MOM. Truck-hugger!