A Giant Pain In The Can For HM

I've got a bone to pick. Yes, it's a thorn in my side, a gripe in my
gizzard, a pain in my neck, a bone of contention. Feel free to add
your own cliche, or state your opinion.

Have you ever participated in a can drive? I don't mean the Boy
Scout way, or out of the kindness of your heart buying $20 worth
of Save-A-Lot food to take to the food pantry. I mean the school
canned food drive. Or as some people call it, the can food drive,
which is another bone of contention, but let's limit the topic today.

Every year, each building has one for some charitable cause. I don't
mind the canned food drive. I mind the way some people go about
it. For example...my son's class was in the lead. They had 137 cans,
with the next closest competitor having 8. Yes. EIGHT cans. So
they were pretty much counting on their reward of a breakfast
cooked by the club sponsoring the canned food drive. Then the
snow days came, so the deadline was extended. My son's class
continued to bring in cans. Then, on the LAST DAY, a competing
class found out their total. A parent was called. The parent brought
200 cans. It still was not enough. The parent was called again, and
brought more cans. Some say it was 500 cans. Which put the
competitors over the top.

I cry FOUL! If it ain't there at the beginning of the school day,
it ain't a-comin'. It is not fair to have some kid with access to a
parent with free time and unlimited funds steal the victory out
from under the class that has been charitably straggling in cans
for several weeks. Shame on all involved! It's a CanCan Scandal!
Sure, it brought in more cans. But at what price? And I'm not
talking about $0.10 per can. And it's not a big deal just because
my kid's class came in second.

Thank the Gummi Mary, the sponsor found out what was going
on, and has decreed that the most-cans-class and the class-who-
was-in-first-place-all-that-time-only-to-finish-second-at-the-
11th-hour will BOTH receive the reward breakfast.

This is not an isolated incident. Every year since my oldest kid
started school, someone has done this. Maybe not always at the
last minute, but there has always been some kid or another who
had parents bring in a truckload of cans. Why raise the hopes of
the other students? If they know so-and-so is in another class,
why should they bring in anything? They have no chance to win.
I think there should be a limit on how many cans ONE student
can bring. But then, some parent would probably buy all the cans,
and parcel them out to each student in the class. It just doesn't
seem fair. If they want, let them donate cash or more cans, but
not as part of the contest.

We're talkin' kids, here. Kids and compassion. Not Survivor, or
The Amazing Race, or Big Brother, where the end justifies the
means. Not love and war, where all is fair. Kids. Kids and free
food during class time!

Is that too touchy-feely, everybody's a winner, plumping up
self-esteem of me? I don't care if they get their little egos crushed
or not. I just think a contest is a contest, and someone is bending
the rules.

At least the infractors were dealt a mediocre message in this case.
Rumor has it that they are incensed at having to share the reward.
Boo freakin' hoo, by cracky!

What's a-matter, it ain't FAIR?